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Bumper Cars – a channeled message

I channeled this lovely message from Lei Lei a few days ago. It’s part of a channeled healing. I love the message and want to share it.

We see a teeter-totter and and and we see this is a place where you reside, this teeter-totter. We don’t mean this in a negative way but in a way of perceiving where help might be needed and we are glad that you have the ability to sort things out on a walk. We’re not sure if this is present time as we said or in the past but we see you walking along the railroad tracks and we perceive that you recognize when you are not in a balanced place, when something has, as they say, triggered your hurt, your personal injury, your wounding or your feelings about yourself …or your feelings that you are being judged …or many other things can cause this.

Annie has a long history of being triggered and she has worked very very hard to land in a place where she has about 95 percent or 97 percent balance in her emotions. She has learned the gift to not respond, to recognize that most of the time this is all about the other person’s opinion or the other person’s feelings. It is not about you.

You have the right and the responsibility to live in your own knowing. You came here to this life with knowing who you were with some intentions and with a pathway in front of you and you chose an environment which was a challenge to that inner knowing that you came with …and you are not always easily able to return to your inner knowing. Eventually you do, but it causes you great distress when something, somebody’s opinion or some circumstance or some memory, there are so many ways that one can be off-center, sent to a place, land in a place that is not your center, not your well-being.

And so we see this as a very important starting place and we want to remind you of your knowing, of your wonderful, lovable, wise self. And we encourage you to practice simply allowing the opinions and the reactions and the perhaps harmful intentions or thoughts of others …allow them to drift off.

We just saw an image of bumper cars and we feel that this may be something that you can use – the game of bumper cars which was fun when you were younger. This can be used as a model of how it might be best to interact with the world when it causes you stress – with the outer world, with others, with the strictness of certain rules or regulations or ways of having to be. We see bumper cars …and people in the bumper cars are simply bumping off each other.

It’s a fun game. They laugh, they crash, they aim to crash, they aim to avoid and ultimately they can simply back up and move off a little bit and this game might help you to remember or to learn a way of interacting with others that allows you to simply say 

  • “Oh there’s that silly point of view. I’m going to back up and go to the left”
  • ”Oh there’s that harmful person that wants to hurt my feelings. I’m simply going to back up and go to the right.” 
  • “Oh I see that one coming.I’m going to take a right a left turn quickly and avoid the  interaction that I do not want to have with that person.”

We hope you are understanding our meaning here. We feel this will possibly be a way that you can protect yourself.

Take the actions that are needed to protect yourself from negative thoughts about yourself. This is what we are aiming for, for your balance, for your well-being. So the walks are good, the walking on the railroad tracks or the walking in the woods or wherever you can or the exercising,  the swimming in the pool …whatever it is that you find helpful.

These are very good to keep in your life – but we want to add to this the concept of the bumper cars. Simply not allowing anybody to have this negative impact on you.

And this is a practice. It will not come in one day but it is a good image to keep in your mind and so we leave you with this.

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Private sessions are offered in person and remotely by phone or video conference. Contact Annie to book a session, host a workshop, for sliding scale rates or to discuss barter arrangements.

Secrets

My famly had so many secrets. There was sexual abuse and there was mental illness. And there’s still one more secret that in today’s world is no longer even a scandal.

My dad was a cross-dresser, a transvestite in the words of my youth. He didn’t want to BE a woman, like a friend of mine who eventually had gender change surgery. He just felt most himself in women’s clothes. Since it was a dirty little secret, he only had negligees, not full outfits. This is my understanding.

I wasn’t aware of this until adulthood, but when I think back, I can hear his high pitched falsetto voice coming from the bathroom when he was ensconced in there, free to be his alter-ego for a little while.

My sister told me of coming across him in dress when she stayed with him during a college break. She later checked his closet and found a few more things. My mom told me at some point that it was part of her sex life and that it was very problematic for her.

I have written before about family secrets, but my gentle dad is long gone and nobody in my family reads my posts. So I’m finished concerning myself with the impact of these matters.

And this secret has another aspect that moves me to shine the light here.

My brother’s son, my nephew, now identifies as they/them and he (sorry, but I am struggling with this paradigm) wears feminine clothes and colors these days. I love my nephew. He has walked a traumatic path in his youth, socially. He is “on the spectrum” and has dealt with being a social outcast because he doesn’t read social cues well and is “just not cool” in the vernacular of my day. The last time this social outcast thing occurred, in college, he took a left turn into sexual fluidity and found an instant community of friends. And there has been a huge sigh of relief from all of us who love him.

He himself wonders, my brother told me – what exactly is at the root of his choice. He recognizes that it brought him comfort and acceptance.

My brother is a kid lover, like me. Children are his favorite people. He was a Montessori teacher in his second career. He is sad because he has hoped for grandchildren.

The crazy thing about this story is that my nephew doesn’t know about his grandfather’s cross-dressing. He’s in his mid-twenties, and I would be willing to bet that everyone else in our family does know about dad …but there has been a decision made to keep this information from him.

[There is some lack of clarity about whether dad’s cross-dressing was strictly sexual, unlike my nephew’s.]

On my last visit to my brother’s, I admired a lovely photo of my nephew, around the age of 2, listening to my dad’s heart with his toy stethoscope. For some reason, it prompted me to ask whether he knew about dad. And my brother said no. I was surprised, and made a case for it being positive for him to have this information. That he would feel a deeper connection with his grandpa, and possibly some pride or relief that he wasn’t alone in his choice.

It hurts my heart that my nephew doesn’t have this information that I feel would benefit him. I’m not seeing the down side, although I’m sure it was explained to me.

I do admit to a wish that he might take his choice out into the light more fully, and make sure he is choosing for his true self.

In general I don’t think secrets are helpful. They keep us from knowing ourselves. It’s all hiding there, in the pain of our ancestors and siblings and parents And maybe our children.

It has crossed my mind to tell my nephew myself, but it feels …interfering, duplicitous, sneaky- to tell my nephew something significant that his parents don’t want him to know.

Maybe I will someday – if the opportunity arises, but I can’t imagine how or when that would occur. Last time I had alone time with my nephew, we were baking a cake and he was maybe 14.

So I carry it, and it haunts me from time to time.

I just want the best for everyone.

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Karmic Pain and Healing

In the past several months I have learned some things about karmic pain.

  1. The pain is real.
  2. It cannot be diagnosed or healed by a medical professional.
  3. It is a release that you can facilitate – if you want to resolve it (and remove the pain).
  4. It may be the result of harm you did to someone in this lifetime, but is often a result of some harm you did to another in a past life. You were the perpetrator – the cause of harm to another.
  5. You can “go within” to discover what the origin of your pain is. Trust what comes to you – a story or visual image of what occurred in the past. The information you receive may be simple or elaborate.

In my 30’s I experienced jaw pain for several months. I had a massage therapist work on it repeatedly, doing deep muscle work. No impact. I consulted with a dentist. Nothing was amiss. One day I screamed into a pillow in frustration …and the pain was gone! I got into my car and drove for about a half hour to a nearby city, screaming all the way and all the way back. It never bothered me again …until this fall.

I have mentioned being engaged with a healing process called Soul Convergence this year. A significant part of the process is to resolve one’s karma, which includes harm one may have done to others. At one point in the process, quite a few participants were experiencing pain that they could not explain.

I cannot say why my jaw pain was dormant for almost 40 years. But this Fall, it resurfaced. I was guided to go within, and I experienced my jaw being caved in as a result of a battle incident. Then I realized I was experiencing the injury that I had done to another. I had been in battle, but this clubbing of another man was done out of cruelty – above and beyond the necessities of battle.

Week after week it was increasingly painful. The pain went from my jaw to my ear, the area of my eyes, and down into my throat. This is what the man I injured experienced, along with shame of his hideous injury, his infected tissue and crumbling skull. He pretended to eat, but could barely drink …and died within a few weeks. I had a great deal of information about this injury.

I eventually learned to go into the pain. I remembered that a woman I had once met talked about mitigating pain by entering it, and I decided to try this. It helped and relieved the pain I was experiencing. I can’t say how this works, but it did.

One morning I woke and the pain was gone.

I have a few other areas of pain I’ve been guided to address as a result of harming others in other lifetimes. One other story was not elaborate like this one. I haven’t gone into the others yet.

According to the teachings of Soul Convergence, it’s time to resolve our karma.

We are moving from a karmic reality to a dharmic reality. I don’t fully know what this means, but now is the time to resolve karma.

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Good news!

For the past month I have been offering healing and information through channeling. Some have tapped into weekly healing sessions, some one time requests for healing and or information.

It is hard work. I need to spend several hours each morning preparing myself (reaching an appropriate frequency), channeling, then transcribing the session and sending them off when appropriate.

It’s demanding, and I am still learning to simply allow the information to simply arrive without my opinion/interference.

I wasn’t looking for a job, actually. But I was told in no uncertain terms that this is my path, my work, that I agreed to do this before this incarnation. I face criticism and I’ve had failures. I started attempting this in September, but it was only recently that I emailed 35 allies and offered my services.

People responded. I’ve had zoom sessions, questions emailed and texted, people come over to ask in person, I’ve traveled to the homes of others. I have 7 people who signed on for weekly healing.

I am so grateful for all this trust and practice. I am doing the work every day, and I am bringing forth love and my best self every day.

This morning a friend told me she is sleeping better in response to guidance from several weeks ago. Another friend I’m channeling healing for weekly emailed to tell me that my healing help and guidance was just what she needed to hear and work on, because she needs help in exactly this area of her life right now.

And so I’m helping! My heart and soul soar!

Private sessions are offered in person and remotely by phone or video conference. Contact Annie to book a shamanic session, host a workshop, for sliding scale rates or to discuss barter arrangements. There is no change for group or individual channeling sessions at this time.

Recent Texts from Goma

I have a couple of allies in Africa after last February’s trip. One is in Uganda and the other in in the Democratic Republic of Congo (DRC). When we went to the DRC, there were warnings in the US not to cross the border from Rwanda into DRC. That there was danger from rebels surrounding the city, and food supplies were at risk. My husband asked me not to go, he was afraid of harm coming to me, but I chose to trust my son’s friend, Bienve. See post here.

See more about Bienve’s work here.

See a post about the 2nd refugee camp we visited here and here.

Indeed all was well. We had meals in various restaurants, at the refugee camp, and at Bienve’s home. I do have to admit that we heard artillery from beyond the refugee camps both days, and we did see evidence of policies that were geared to limit the hours of restaurants (weakening them).

Now it’s a different story. If you are listening to the news, you are probably aware that Goma is under attack.

Bienva’s references to the international mafia are actually not the country of Rwanda – as stated in the media both last year and this year. Rwanda military may be the tool, but corporations employ them – corporations who want the valuable minerals that are known to be below Goma. If you do just a little research, you will find talk of the minerals.

I am afraid for the people of Goma and especially for the displaced persons of the refugee camps

I have been in communication for the past few days with Bienve, although he was not confident that the internet would sustain.

[The international language in DRC is French, but Bienve does pretty well with English.]

Sunday January 26

Bienve, my prayers are with you and your family. And all the displaced persons.

Thank you.

It’s very very bad

The rebels are now in Goma officially and it’s a very bad situation.

This hurts my thoughts. I am holding you in my heart

Monday January 27

You are first on my mind this morning. Is there any change?

Ohhh very bad.

I call for protection and peace.

Thank you.

Tuesday January 28

Are you safe?

We are safe but staying in the house. We can’t go anywhere now because guns are

shooting everywhere and people are losing their life.

The news here said that the borders of Goma are secured. But still shooting?

Not yet.

Do you have water? (Bienve has 4 young children and one older daughter who he adopted before his marriage.)

We have some.

And some food?

We are waiting if shop will be open in a few days. And banks are closed unfortunately.

But it’s not easy really.

No. Not easy. Frightening. Everything is uncertain.

Exactly.

We are facing bad days really.

We don’t know what to do.

We have many movements of the populations and we are in a high needs of supports

because people are not working anymore; they are staying in place. Waiting if the

situation will be ok.

And you don’t know how to help because that’s what you DO. And everyone is in need.

But it’s not safe.

Exactly. And I must protect my loved ones.

Even we should have some food but we are empty because its still January.

And in January many partners are in planning(for the refugee camps, and the youth

industry}. Not having any funding yet is part of the challenge.

We have bad internet.

And no food for your family?

We have some, not enough.

Can you help me know how to pray for you, for Goma?

safety and food.

Do you have any news of the displaced persons’ refugee camps?

—-Perhaps I will get an answer to this last question when the internet is working again.

As well as concern for Bienve and his family, the refugees, the child soldiers and all of Goma, I am reminded of our approach in eradicating and moving the tribal people in this continent. My husband, a lover of history, reminded me recently that we waited until Spring to lay siege to the Native Americans. Their food supplies were often depleted, diminished and they could not last long.

In Goma, they are attacked for the 2nd year in a row in January, when food supplies are low and people cannot sustain deprivation. Their growing season starts in February, as well as their funding, as Bienve noted.

It hurts my heart and my faith in humanity to see this greed and ruthlessness and lack of compassion at play despite those who have made a life in and around Goma.

In the past I have asked for support for Remember Youth For Change, Bienve’s work with small industries, child soldiers, and refugees. However, this is not the time.

Prayers would be welcome, specifically for safety and food.

For Bienve and his family, for the child soldiers he helps, for the displaced person’s camp, and for all of Goma.

Questions I haven’t asked him and will not broach:

-What minerals are below his house?

-Will soldiers take his home, will they destroy it to dig?

Yes, I know I am imagining the worst. Perhaps this is unwise.

But I can see this home in my mind’s eye that may be at risk.

My thoughts and heart have turned back to my time with Bienve and his family. On our last afternoon in Goma, after our visit to the Bulango Camp, Bienve wanted to honor my son + I. He stopped at several fruit stands, knowing that my son loves fruit smoothies. After talks and photos and gifts (they – the youth sewing industry Bienve created – made a beautiful shirt for my son and a dress for me!) at the office of Remember Youth for Change …we went to his home, on the lower level and connected with his children, his wife Clariss, and a family friend. We whiled away the time in their home for a couple of hours, connecting with the children, cutting tropical fruit and devouring it to everyone’s delight.

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Message to Children in Congo

I was invited yesterday by Bienve, our host in Congo almost a year ago (in February), to send a message to the children at an upcoming feast (on Christmas), and I know it was a request for funds for this feast, and that is a fair trade. I feel good about providing funds and about sending a blessing.

Click here to read a prior post about Bienve Kamwendo, and here and here to read about my visit to this refugee camp.

I cannot cover the entire meal; if you would like to contribute even a small amount to this meal for hundreds of children in the refugee camp I visited, please see the purple box below. Money goes much farther in Africa, and the meal will be simple – rice, beans, cabbage, and a small amount of meat.

Here’s my Christmas day message to the chidren:

Last year it was a blessing for me to meet you, to sing with you, to watch the games and the dances, to touch your hands and to smile into your beautiful faces.

I will never forget the blessing of visiting you and finding your open hearts.

Don’t forget your sacred ways from your ancestors.

Remember the dance and the songs and the foods and your ancestral lands.

Don’t forget the stories that your parents tell you, and be sure to remember the names of your elders and ancestors.

I hope you will work hard to make this world a better place for all people.

See the good in others if you can. Sometimes it’s hiding, but it’s there most of the time. You will know. You will be able to feel it.

Hold a vision of a good world full of good people. I am praying for this, and simply trying to be good myself. 

Let us all love our families and our neighbors and ourselves.

Don’t forget to love yourself.

When you are in a dark time, when you are struggling and sad or angry or hurt, reach out to the light of God, to the light of your ancestors and your loved ones, to Mother Earth, to the Sun and the Sky and the Water, and that which is closest to you. There is always a way to find comfort, whether inside yourself or outside yourself or in others. Quiet your mind and reach inside yourself to find out what you need to know, how to find the comfort, or what steps to take. This is the way to live life – for all of us.

I send you much love.

From the Mzungu, Annie, mother of Jeff who works with Bienve.

To contribute any amount to this meal, contact me at 8hummingbirdway@gmail.com

Would you like to know more about the nonprofit organization created by Bienve Kamwendo in Goma – Remember Youth for Change? https://www.facebook.com/rememberyouthforchange

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Why me?

[Session of channeling Lei Lei on 10/21/24]

[Good morning Lei Lei. I greet you and thank your for your presence. I’m grateful for your being here when I reach out.]

You’re welcome Annie. We are happy to be here. It is our honor to speak through you. There is no other that could bring forth our voice at this time.

[This surprises me. Why is this?]

It is because we are of you; you are of us. We are family. You have recognized my qualities. I speak as Quan Yin. And Paula [my guardian angel] has been with you since your incarnation. And the Spirit of Love and Generosity lives within you. And other loving beings are part of this family as well. And we all make up the presence that is speaking.

[It seems very important that I make myself available for your voice to be heard.]

We feel it is important and we are grateful for your turning towards us and making yourself available to us.

[Thank you for explaining this to me.]

We felt you should understand.

We hope that is will not seem a heavy weight, but an honor and will help you know how important it is for you to practice and become comfortable with our voice, our frequency, our messages.

Please do not experience this as pressure. We sense that there is some element of this that you are  …taking on. 

Let this be a pleasure.

[Well …it is not something I have looked for, and I do feel a heavy importance that I serve in this way …and that I make myself available.

However, I have already been called into service by my soul. I understand that this is my mission, my work, part of the work that I have here in this life, so …I don’t fully understand it, but I respect it. I certainly respect my soul. I have asked to be aligned with my soul, to walk the path of my soul, to express my soul, and this is part doing that.]

Yes. This is part of doing that. We are glad that you understand in this way.

[This is a lot to sort out. I may have more questions.]

We are here for you.

If you would like to have a channeling session with Lei Lei, it would be an honor, a benefit, and a gift to me. There would be no fee. I am in training now, learning to remove myself during channeling sessions for others. Please click here to contact me for a remote or in person session.

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Message about “landing in my heart more fully”

[In this post I am channeling Lei Lei, the being who presents in my sessions.]

10/13/24

Sometimes you seem to feel not enough. As if you should be perfect. As if it’s not ok to be imperfect, to be confused or to go down a road of disharmony or uncertainty or …you’re simply a human.

You are simply a mortal being who tries her best, who offers up herself in humility and fails sometimes to sustain humility or understanding. These are the things that are your imperfections. These are the things that make you feel that you are less. These are the things that you have a hard time accepting about yourself …and this is what you [can] plant – these seeds of imperfection, these seeds of confusion and doubt or misgivings about ..your responses, your reactions. [I’m to plant for transformation.] You’ve come so far. Allow yourself these small mistakes, these small  …you will never be perfect, you are a human. It is not required that you be perfect. You do not have to be a god or an angel or a goddess while you are here on this Earth dealing with all of these disharmonies and challenges around you – and the frequencies [energies] around you – and just everything [on this plane of existence]!

It’s ok. Being who you are is ok.

[So – is there no great thing that I am missing?]

There’s nothing that you are missing. That which you are pulling at is not something that you can have at this time. It’s not something that you can force. Allow yourself to be a mere fallible human.

[I will do my best to proceed as you say. Thank you for your help here in guiding me in my confusion and delusion or desires to be more than I am.]

It is not delusion, Annie. 

All the seeds that you plant bring great fruit. 

All the love that you gather up and allow to float through you bear great fruit.

Your ideas of what “great” is are many. They may or may not flow in any particular direction that comes to mind for you. Allowing is the way. Just being yourself. See what happens!

Let life unfold around you …and respond to it in the way that seems best. This is the teaching for now.

It is difficult to be human and to  …just allow …to not push …to allow and flow. This is the teaching for you that you would do well to consider and allow. This will help you to land in your heart more fully.

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A Daily Practice

A new client recently expressed interest in establishing a daily practice. She and I will talk more about it, and I wanted to share some thoughts here as well.

My daily practice has the role of renewing my focus each morning. It is usually the first thing I do. If I had a rough start or am encountering challenges, it brings me to gratitude and to connection with God/Creator/Spirit and to humility. I walk away with the resources I need to be my best self.

My daily practice evolves. There are times when it felt important to be outside every morning and dance on the earth and sing out loud. I miss that. I would like to do more of that. But I live in a neighborhood now and I don’t have a desire to perform for humans – only bees and the groundhog and flowers and the wind.

Today my practice is to go to an altar in my loft over the garage. My altar is a small low table. On it I have the basics – the 4 elements represented by stone, feathers, a candle and water .

I have photos above my altar of those I look to for inspiration – those I admire.

I have small photos of beloved people too .

I light the candle, and my practice begins. “I light the flame of connection to Spirit, to Creator, to my helping spirits ….”

I speak a lot of words. It feels right to me to express myself verbally, to offer gratitude in this way and to reaffirm my connection and gratitude to and for my ancestors, to ask for protection for myself (and for others who have given me permission to do so).

I sing too. I sing in gratitude …and to express my willingness to be a tool for helpful transformation.

If only one or two sentences of this description resonate with you, that could be your daily practice. It might change …and grow …it might be perfect for you for a lifetime. Or at some point you may feel you no longer need it.

A daily practice could be as simple as touching a special stone on your way to the kitchen with the words “Thank you for my life and for this day.” or a chant or a simple song.

My altar practice is not a rule or an obligation; it’s just a help along the way.

It helps me drop my anger or annoyance toward others.

It helps me remember my blessings.

It reminds me of the support I have.

It reminds me of who I want to be in each day.

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A Stand in the Park

About a month ago I heard about a global movement called “A Stand in the Park.” It began in Australia, and now people in 40 countries stand in the park on Sunday mornings (10-11 local time) for personal truth and freedom. There are 44 Stands in the USA. and thousands worldwide.

(It’s a Stand, not a protest.)

This news moved me greatly. I looked for a nearby Stand. There are only 2 others in NY, both downstate. And so I asked Lei Lei for guidance, and here is the response:

This is a blessed aspect of your work here at this time, and so we gratefully and enthusiastically bless your vision and your desire to act. We will be supporting you in this mission and in your ability to be present for this beginning and to assist moving forward in whatever capacity is the best for you, whatever you choose, however things unfold. It will be a blessed group and action and movement forward.

2 days later, after some thought and doubts about the timing of this action …

Yes, the time is now. And you may say to others that the time is now, that you have concerns about where we are going as a being of humanity, and so you feel it is time to stand for personal truth and for freedom.

And so I started a Stand here in the village of Middleburgh, NY. I put up some flyers and began to spend an hour in a village park every Sunday.

I have enjoyed my time. So far I have communed with the nearby trees, the hills, the sky, the sun, been visited by the wind, enjoyed the creek bordering the park, found a dime, been observed by a cat, and met 2 humans and a dog on a walk. Many birds have been around as well. I’m grateful for all of them. I feel closest to the trees and the wind.

I was prepared for a long time on my own. The person who started the movement stood alone in his park for 3 months before another joined him.

I will probably eventually write up something for the local newspaper about it.

This week a friend asked abut the Stand. I had told her I was doing it and she wanted to come. She looked it up on the international website and I hadn’t reported it. But I’m standing for a while and I should put it on …and now I have.

I wrote these words:

Let us stand for personal truth and for freedom. Each person’s truth, whether they agree with me, or another or anyone else. We must be able to speak our truth, be heard …never silenced. This BRINGS freedom.
Let us also stand for community. For knowing each other and sharing ourselves and maybe even helping each other when there is a need and the desire to help.
Simply standing for personal truth and freedom is an excellent start.

Thank you, my supportive friend!

Also, here are the contents of the local flyer:

We Stand for Personal Truth and Freedom

A STAND IN THE PARK

A Stand In The Park unites people in parks all over the world every Sunday Morning

We Stand In The Park for personal truth and freedom

  • 10 – 11am local time
  • It’s a Stand, not a protest
  • We stand for personal truth and freedom
  • Rain, Hail or Holiday…..  we stand

Our local stand is on Baker Ave in Middleburgh at

William Morton Creekside Park 

To learn more: www.astandinthepark.org

There are 44 Stands in the USA.

There are Stands in Australia, Belgium, Canada, Costa Rica, Croatia, Denmark, Europe, France, Germany, Greece, Hong Kong, Hungary, Ireland, Malta, Mexico, Netherlands, New Zealand, Norway, Peru, Portugal, Romania, South Africa, Spain, Sweden, Switzerland, United Kingdom