Author: 8hummingbirdway

I'm Annie Breglia and I'm on a mission to help heal the planet one soul at a time. The ancient way. The way of the shaman.

Judging another’s way

by 8hummingbirdway

Recently I spoke with someone close to me about another person (I’ll call him B) and his interactions with her grandchildren that were problematic and concerning for her. At some point in the conversation, I shared with her some faults I had perceived in B’s childrearing in the past.

Later in the day, my words came back to me. I felt uncomfortable about my words that judged B’s way of parenting his child. Why did I feel it would be helpful to share my negative perception of him (and his wife)?

I have to say that I don’t think I was trying to be helpful at all.

It feels, looking back, that I was attempting to gain attain additional closeness with the person I was speaking to by aligning against someone else. This is a pattern I experienced in high school that was toxic and mean-spirited.

The conversation and my part in it kept returning to me, and I eventually reached out to my close friend and shared my self perception, apologizing. This didn’t really accomplish much, but she understood.

And I recognized a behavior within myself that I want to change.

I realized, after further thought, that this was a direct reflection of something that had occurred in my past. A friend of mine didn’t approve of my parental choices when I was having challenges with my oldest daughter in her teenage years. She kept telling me that she would lay down the law and correct the situation. I was more lenient in my response, trying to allow some freedom to my growing daughter. My friend (who had no teenagers) did not let up and eventually got 2 other friends involved with her opinion. Eventually she arranged a meeting and she told me that they (collectively) could not support my parenting any longer. I walked away from that meeting after that first sentence and she actually ended our friendship then next day, which was deeply painful for me.

Shortly afterward, in sharing my experience with another, I was told firmly that my children are my children to raise. That the spirits who come as children to us have come to us in clarity of choice, knowing what they will contend with in us, and what kind of parents we would be likely to be, who we truly are. I liked her words, because they exonerated me from doing wrong with my daughter. I felt I stood on more solid ground with this concept.

But now here I am, on the other side of the fence – speaking judgmentally toward B. Not even having the courage or integrity to speak to him myself about it. Never having said a thing to either him or his wife as I witnessed, with some level of discomfort, parenting “errors” over the years. And I spoke to others about them back then – others who knew the family and who may have been influenced by my thoughts in a negative way.

All of this feels terrible. I would like to be a different person that the one I have been in the past …as recent as last week.

I know we all grow and change. I don’t feel it would be helpful or kind at this point to share the way I behaved in relation to B. All I can really do is recognize this behavior within myself and make a different choice in the future.

To be clear, B was not harming his child. He was simply making a different parental decision than I would.

I have more to say about changing patterns.

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A gift to me

by 8hummingbirdway

I moved to a new house last summer in a new town – about half an hour from my beloved dream home in the Catskills. (It got too steep for us.)

We’re in a small charming village and it feels right. There are fun town events, a music venue, a few decent restaurants, and a community garden.

I missed my walks for the first year – in the woods, on the streets, up the hills. Somehow I just wasn’t keeping up with walking.

About 2 months ago a new person moved in across the street from me.

She grew up in the house and had been away for work, raising a daughter, and for the past year she was in the Peace Corps. Recently she had been renting the house out as an Airbnb, but now she has come home to settle in.

She is funny and lively and she likes the Fall and she likes to keep busy.

She sees the world much like I do … and she likes to walk!

It’s lovely to have a friend to walk with. I’m walking much more than I used to. Long walks up a nearby hill and walks through the village. Walks early in the morning and walks in the dark.

I’m deeply grateful for this turn of events.

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The Way of a Warrior

by 8hummingbirdway

My understanding of walking the path of Warrior comes from many years of life and observation. I first became conscious of the role of Warrior during my shamanic training, and I began to notice people in my life who show me the Warrior aspect.

They are few. Some see the Warrior path, and this is a first step.

I don’t know that my definition of Warrior aligns with the definition of others.

A warrior is a person of integrity and self-knowledge and wisdom.

A warrior has no need of deception or pretense.

A warrior might experience fear.

Facing truth is critical.

Courage is sometimes required when a warrior sees truth.

S/he might chose action.

S/he might or might not choose confrontation or action. Sometimes silence and forbearance is the way forward.

A warrior adapts to changing conditions (including disappointment and hardship and betrayal) without sacrificing integrity.

A Warrior is often a person of few words.

A warrior honors his/her body and spirit.

A warrior honors all others, including human, animal, plant, earth and other elements (air, fire, water).

A warrior recognizes his/her alignment and connection with a higher power.

A warrior develops practices over time as a result of who s/he discovers herself to be.

A warrior is clear about his/her intentions.

Sometimes uncertainty exists, and a situation must show itself over time.

Sometimes the action to take is immediately known and obvious.

When the way forward shows itself, a warrior does not back down from it.

Some misunderstand the Warrior, thinking that his/her inner strength means s/he must forego tenderness. This is not accurate.

The Warrior strives to be true to him/herself in all moments.

It’s possible to fail at times on this path …and still to sustain the choice to walk the path of Warrior.

We are all human, and the path of the Warrior is a practice.

Some qualities and results of the Warrior’s path are clarity, focus, determination, courage, constancy, respect, and a a love of life itself.

Exploring the Warrior side of yourself is one way to expand your reality.

If this intrigues you, you may want to start to practice mindfulness.

You may want to consider what it means to you to meet life’s challenges with a spirit that does not waver.

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Changing Patterns

by 8hummingbirdway

I have recently been engaged with a powerful healing program (called Soul Convergence – provided by Anne Tucker) that has allowed me to change my ways. Instead of arguing or raising my voice I have developed the ability to remain calm or simply restrain from response. Of course this is not the answer to every problem, but it has been a huge challenge for me to keep my own counsel, not to allow the opinions or criticisms of others to move me to a defensive position and to throw words back. It has been a long pattern, and I am deeply grateful.

The relief is palpable within me. Remaining calm and present was simply not available to me in the past. Now my most “difficult” loved ones are hearing me, and we arrive at understanding and peace much more quickly. (Sometimes we never did in the past.). AND I see corresponding changes within them – which makes me doubly blessed.

This morning I found this lesson in my email and I want to share it with you, as it aligns with my experience in this area.

Same Choices, Same Results:

Repeated bouts of adversity are an unavoidable aspect of human existence. We battle against our inner struggles or outer world forces, and in many cases, we emerge on the opposite side of the struggle stronger and better equipped to cope with the challenges yet to come. However, we can occasionally encounter trials that seem utterly hopeless. We strike at them with all of our creativity and perseverance, hoping desperately to bring about change, only to meet with the same results as always. Often, our first instinct in such situations is to push harder against the seemingly immovable obstruction before us, assuming that this time we will be met with a different outcome. But staying power and stamina net us little when the same choices consistently garner the same results. A change in perspective, behavior, or response can do so much more to help us move past points where no amount of effort seems sufficient to overcome the difficulties before us.

Whether our intention is to change ourselves or some element of the world around us, we cannot simply wish for transformation or hope that our lives will be altered through circumstance. If our patterns of thought and behavior remain unchanged, our lives will continue to unfold much as they have previously. Patterns in which fruitless efforts prevail can be overcome with self examination and courage. It is our bravery that allows us to question the choices we have made thus far and to channel our effort into innovation. Asking questions and making small adjustments to your thought processes and behaviors will help you discover what works, so you can leave that which does not work behind you. To break free from those unconscious patterns that have long held sway over your actions and reactions, you will likely have to challenge your assumptions on a most basic level. You must accept once and for all that your beliefs with regard to cause and effect may no longer be in accordance with your needs.

Stagnation is often a sign that great changes are on the horizon. Courting the change you wish to see in yourself and in the world around you is a matter of acknowledging that only change begets change. The results you so ardently want to realize are well within the realm of possibility, and you need only step away from the well-worn circular path to explore the untried paths that lie beyond it.

This teaching was offered by DailyOM at https://www.dailyom.com/inspiration

I am hoping to assist others in the way of healing that I have recently been able to access, called Soul Convergence. It’s origin is with the Angelic realm. If you are interested, contact me here.

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Simply smile

by 8hummingbirdway

One of the best ways to use your power is to smile.

Faces transform into light when one smiles, and this light sometimes transforms others, both witnesses and recipients of your smile.

I love smiling at others when my inner light feels bright. Usually I receive the gift of a return smile.

In the supermarket, on the street, at the doctor’s office, others are open to your smile.

If you feel you want to connect further – complement earrings or the colors they are wearing or their hair style or color.

“You look great in that red!”

“I love your hair, who does it?”

Oh dear! As I write this, I realize these suggestions are mostly of a female nature!

A man might be more comfortable asking advice about where to find something in the supermarket along with that smile? Because those compliments are mostly for women – and can be misunderstood.

[This surprises me – to discover that I think I am writing about/for people and find I’m writing about/for only half the population. ]

A man can still simply smile.

There is power in a smile, the best kind of power – freely and generously given, without expectation.

Your smile might change the world.

Sometimes a friendship might follow, but mostly you are simply offering a small form of love or high regard for your fellow human (or animal).

I know that if others smile at me, I am lifted.

This holds great value – and power.

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Power Over

by 8hummingbirdway

We all carry power which impacts others and our world.

Whether one is praying, participating in intentional ritual, taking other action, or simply thinking thoughts, others or energies around us or them, can be impacted.

One thing that is important to know when using your power is what is helping and what is not.

In general, I would say that prayer is positive.

In my experience, the best kind of prayer is gratitude and asking for wisdom or help for self or others. This help could be good health, personal balance, protection, blessing, etc.

I feel it should not involve specific others acting as you would prefer. This goes into the zone of “power over.”

Power over means “I want my child to get good grades” or even “be happy.”

Power over means “Please make him (or her) love me.”

More extreme examples of power over are wishing or causing harm to come to others.

These hopes and wishes and actions are controlling of the destiny or lives of others.

The person you perceive as bad or negative may be on the verge of healing or a realization that will move him/her forward in a positive way. Or you may not know everything about them. They may carry heavy burdens or carry deep injuries within.

We do not know the path of another in this life. Our idea of what is best may not be what is best for another. Perhaps our child has an amazing destiny, and the hardship or challenge they face today provides a lesson that they need to arrive in their future as they must.

A better prayer would be to ask for the wisdom and ability to assist them navigate this situation.

Perhaps the specific sweetheart you wish for is not what will further your path in the best way. Another may be just around the corner who will lead you forward toward your best future. Or perhaps s/he will introduce you to something or someone that will bring you to harm.

A better prayer would be to ask for patience and discernment in finding someone you can share your life with.

At one point in my life, on my spiritual path, I became interested in what it meant to be a Witch. I knew that those who were persecuted in Europe several hundred years ago have been called Witches, and that they were in truth people who practiced Earth-based spirituality that were undesirable by those in power.

I read some books and met some people that identified in this way. I became familiar with the terms White Witch and Black Witch. I came to understand that White Witches were essentially healers of self/others and lovers of the Earth. I met a few people who were or knew others who identified as Black Witches. These people sought power that they could use to make things as they wished, attempting to control and manipulate others to gain money and power and “love” – sometimes actually to bring others to harm.

Over time I came to be uncomfortable with this designation of “Witch,” and to steer clear of it. I did not want to identify myself in a way that was vague in regards to calling forth wellbeing or harm.

Unless asked, I do not involve myself in wishing, acting, or even praying on behalf of others’ lives.

I hope to write more about power. We all have it.

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Presence

by 8hummingbirdway

This is an unusual trait for an adult.

Children are amazingly present to each moment. Perhaps this is my favorite aspect of children.

I totally enjoy children. They are honest and wise and full of wonder.

I don’t have any little ones in my life right now. I thought retirement would be all about children, but this has not been the case.

I have faith that they will show up when the time is right.

I realized recently that my children are all very present much of the time. This is good news. I must have played a part in this trait showing up in all 3 of them.

Presence could be defined as a lack of distraction.

When you are with a present person, they are right there, aware of you, sensing your being, your feelings, your presence.

Part of presence is paying attention.

I am fortunate to have several friends who carry presence.

I would like to be more present myself. Mostly I think I do well, but I can be lost in distractions at times. Internally.

It has been some time since I had a meditation practice, but when I did, it brought me to a place where I had a more empty and attentive mind. When I stacked the wood, I stacked the wood. When I washed the dishes, I washed the dishes.

I guess that’s the way I honed my ability to be present.

Also parenting; the children needed my presence and attention.

As adults, we still need presence and attention. Sometimes it is hard to find.

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The Ripple Effect

by 8hummingbirdway

This is important information about how our choices and words and actions matter a great deal. I know it is true, and so often forget.

It’s easy to wonder the value of self in times of challenge and exhaustion.

I was reminded a couple days ago by the post below, renewing me and my path forward.

Gratitude.

See below message for link.

In a world of eight billion people, it’s easy to believe that the only way to initiate profound transformation is to take extreme action. Each of us, however, carries within us the capacity to change the world in small ways for better or worse. Everything we do and think affects the people in our lives, and their reactions in turn affect others. As the effect of a seemingly insignificant word passes from person to person, its impact grows and can become a source of great joy, inspiration, anxiety, or pain. Your thoughts and actions are like stones dropped into still waters, causing ripples to spread and expand as they move outward. The impact you have on the world is greater than you could ever imagine, and the choices you make can have far-reaching consequences. You can use the ripple effect to make a positive difference and spread waves of kindness that will wash over the world.

The recipient of a good deed will likely feel compelled to do a good deed for someone else. Someone feeling the effects of negative energy will be more likely to pass on that negative energy. One act of charity, one thoughtful deed, or even one positive thought can pass from individual to individual, snowballing until it becomes a group movement or the ray of hope that saves someone’s life. Every transformation, just like every ripple, has a point of origin. You must believe in your ability to be that point of origin if you want to use the ripples you create to spread goodness. Consider the effect of your thoughts and actions, and try to act graciously as much as possible.

A smile directed at a stranger, a compliment given to a friend, an attitude of laughter, or a thoughtful gesture can send ripples that spread among your loved ones and associates out into your community and throughout the world. You have the power to touch the lives of everyone you come into contact with and everyone those people come into contact with. The momentum of your influence will grow as your ripples move onward and outward. One of those ripples could become a tidal wave of love and kindness.

This message was sent to me by DailyOM. I enjoy many of their messages.

Sign up for free daily inspiration at https://www.dailyom.com/inspiration/

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Riding Up and Down Pretty Green Hills

by 8hummingbirdway

My youngest daughter (34) is moving 8 hours away next week. She’s been nearby forever, since she was in utero, except for one semester in NYC.

She was a spirited and delightful and loving child who has become a spirited and delightful and loving woman and mother.

Three years ago I stayed at her house for a few days, after the hospital, after my bicycle accident. She arranged for everyone to watch over me for a month, getting people from the airport, filling in for a few hours here + there. (Trachea surgery and I was at risk for a while.)

We don’t spend a lot of time together, maybe a couple hours once or twice/ month.

She’s a private person, but she’s been close.

And when she is with me, she is with me. She has always had this gift of presence, that most adults don’t have.

We will still text, and perhaps talk more often on the phone. She plans to come back this way for Thanksgiving. And I will visit her new home in the future, of course.

I had a long dream recently that she and I were riding bikes up and down pretty green hills. I kept waking up and we were still riding.

And we have been riding up and down pretty green hills, here in the greater Catskill area, for a long, long time.

After the dream I had a good cry. Petunia (cat) came to sit with me.

I thank the powers that be for the dream, and for my daughter, and for Petunia.

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Surrounded by Women

by 8hummingbirdway

After writing the prior post about my daughter, I can’t help notice that most of her loved ones are male. She has girlfriends, but the people she trusts the most and lives with are male.

It has been the same for my older daughter. In 5th grade the girls all turned mean and she removed herself from their domain. She hung out with a male friend a couple houses away and all his friends. She still feels most at ease with men.

Both daughters have sons, no daughters (yet).

It’s interesting how life unfolds for people. I have always surrounded myself with females. I have 3 sisters – and one brother who I found simply annoying when we were young. [I do make an effort now to connect with him and his family, but he is generally too busy. This may be a reaction from younger days – I have no idea. I did tell him often and unkindly to STOP PLAYING THE SAXOPHONE! Unfortunately, he did.]

My sisters, on the other hand, were engaging and interesting and fun. I was closer to my mom than my dad, even though she was a scary screamer. My dad was not always reliable or present. I guess I chose the best I could. She sang to me sweetly at bedtime, and was around more.

I was nervous around boys in school. I didn’t understand them at all – nor did I understand men for a long time. The teenage/sexual realm was tough for me.

I think it took having a son and him becoming an adult for me to understand the male. And having a husband who is home/comes home every day is also a big asset. (As opposed to my often absent musician first husband).

I trusted women. I understood women. I always gravitated toward women in social circles.

I’m not saying that women are perfect people, or even better people.

Some of them are awfully caught up in being physically beautiful, or trying to be. And other superficialities such as beautiful clothing and home.

My older daughter’s best friend for many years kept being interested in every man my daughter spent time with, and even in her first husband.

But I have found good friends almost exclusively in women over the years. They do come and go. Jobs change, some don’t have kids and lose interest. Some don’t survive a life change, personal growth, political viewpoints, a move, or a challenging event.

I lost most of my friends (and was judged harshly by my siblings) during Covid because of my choice not to vaccinate. I learned to keep my mouth shut, but that’s a story for another day. Or not.

I kept one of my close friends. And my siblings and some older friends are back to talking to me.

But women – they can talk talk talk and share share share their feelings. I have a need to do that. Not as much as when I was younger, but more than my husband or my son want to talk/share.

My younger daughter doesn’t indulge in this much either, but my older daughter appreciates a break from her men to sort things out on our weekly phone calls.

Lately I have tea with women friends, both new and old, a few times a month – to chat and share and dissect things such as husbands, children, life, beliefs, and ourselves.

The other day, at a gathering of a few people I had been in a play with (small town, local writers and actors), I started to chat with some women, but politics was brought up so I wandered off and sat on a couch with the dad of a lovely child who was new to our acting group. I really enjoyed our discussion. He was right on my wavelength in so many ways, and our conversation flowed and flowed and I had to tear myself away when my husband was ready to go. His wife and daughter joined the conversation, but it was this man who most engaged me. He was a delight!

Oh – and there’s also the young man from Uganda who I can talk with quite easily. I hope to post about our conversations soon. And there are others.

So I suppose I have graduated to being able to find the comfort zone with both men and women.

I’m grateful and glad.

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