I’ve been considering writing about this topic for some time.
But nobody talks about it. Especially at my age (70).
Which is one reason I feel compelled to write about it.
And …it’s sacred ….which is why I hesitate to bring forth my thoughts. Shouldn’t it be left for each person …or couple …to discover?
I’m opting to shine a light on this topic today. Here we go …
Background: I was sexually abused several times as a young child – by a relative who lived 1000 miles away. It was locked away in my sealed memory – until I found myself sexually shut down in my 30s and 40s. This was an aspect in the demise of my first marriage.
The love of my life showed up in my 50s. We were like teenagers for a moment in time.
The path ahead was thwarted by nature. Menopause.
Down the road a bit more I discovered that I had to find a lubricant.
I know. It’s getting to be too much, but if this is not known, misunderstandings abound, sex is painful, and …eventually over.
I remember approaching 60 and trying to find a book about sex that related to me. Aside from studies (Masters and Johnson) almost NOBODY wrote about it. I found an old book in the library written by an unmarried woman in Great Britain who had a weekly lover in her 60’s. I found it to be valuable; I knew sex could still exist.
Then in our late 60s came the loss of desire. Hormones no longer got us to the bedroom, and frequency was diminishing.
Somehow we decided to push through and make a weekly date.
Sex fell off after a while, but we pushed forward.
Then we both turned 70, and one night, after a rewarding evening, we decided to try for twice/week! We had been wondering how long we could sustain our practice, and then we suddenly felt we could. And we have been – for couple months now.
Here’s the hard part to tell, and possibly to hear:
We are both experiencing the best sex of our lives in the past months.
Twice each week we are experiencing a merged spriritual experience/journey. It has brought us significantly closer. The harmony, love and connection in our home is palpable.
I’m not saying sex is the only reason things have improved …but it might be.
It is certainly enhancing our lives, our sense of ourselves and each other as vibrant, capable, and thriving at this time of life …when we are experiencing new physical pains and challenges, forgetfulness, exhaustion …on the path of getting older.
We are also more vulnerable with each other – asking for help more easily, recognizing the need, pitching in when the load feels too much.
Of course it’s all based on TRUST.
We may not share every thought, but we do not fabricate.
We are real with each other, we speak mostly in kindness, watch out for each other, and allow the other to help.
We are living in a beautiful field of love at this time.
I have no idea how long we can/will sustain our sexual practice.
Not everyone has the same story; this is simply mine.
Blessings to all humans.
May you all push bravely into “old age,” keep moving physically, spiritually, emotionally, and mentally, …and stay connected with trusted others, and with Spirit/Source/God.
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8 hummingbird way 