Tag: gratitude

A Channeled message: Bands of Being

by 8hummingbirdway

This message was provided to a person who recieves weekly channeled messages. It was channeled specifically for her, but the message is is one that might be helpful to any of us. We all reside in places of lower and higher energies, frequencies, and vibrations at various times.

We want to describe a vision that we have of you.

You are floating along with some intention, but with great ease, in a band of color, which is up on the rooftops, a level with the lower home rooftops, one story. 

It is a band of purplish-blue. 

We see other bands, and they all denote certain ways of being, or feelings, or sense of oneself, or the world that one lives in, the way that one must navigate.

And so this bluish-purple is harmonious compared to some of the lower ones. 

The ones at the lower level, closer to or even within the earth, are more muted hues. 

They are even shadowy when one gets to a place of blame, disappointment, criticism, anger with oneself or others, sorrow.

And we are happy to see you where you are now, in a place of relative harmoniousness. However, there are also many bands above you. And oh, you are rising now into a greenish, a lovely soft green.

And it is a place of love, a place of gratitude, greater harmoniousness. And again, you raise up into a lighter yellow, that we see a light yellow, where you are elevated even more.

You have a greater trust in yourself and in your life. 

Be aware that time is passing. More time than it takes to say these words.

There are pauses, and so you are spending some time in each band, and then you elevate to another band, or sometimes sink down to a lower one.

There are ways that one can rise to a higher band. 

One can be at the tops of the highest trees, or one can be at the mountaintops.

And one can go even higher than this, where the colors are more golden, and white, and a bright blue, we see. They are not aligned with the chakras or the rainbows. It is various amounts of shadowiness …or your alignment with a particular color that you particularly enjoy might be very high.

And we want to say that the higher bands will find you closer to spirit. And you can enter these higher bands through meditation or prayer. You can enter these higher bands through high regard of yourself or others, or gratitude, as we mentioned before.

Sometimes singing will help one. Singing a favorite song will help one to rise up. 

Forgiveness, acceptance, blessed memories, connection, heart connections with those you love.

Feeling, being in touch with your feeling of connection with spirit and even the angelic realm, creator. 

Being in nature, for some, elevates one to a higher band of being. And we offer this vision so that you can choose how you want to navigate your moments.

Recognize that you always have a choice. One cannot go from the lowest to the highest, but one can climb almost as if it is a staircase. 

One can climb higher and higher in various ways – by residing in joy, trust, acceptance.

We would like to see you in places of great pleasure and harmoniousness and blessing. 

And this is all we have for you today. 

Blessings to you

Private sessions are offered in person and remotely by phone or video conference. Contact Annie to book a shamanic or channeling session, for sliding scale rates, or to discuss barter arrangements.

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Self-righteousness

by 8hummingbirdway

I truly believe that we are entering a new time, that our world is changing. I am coming to understand more and more that reality is not easy to understand, to pin down. Things are not as they seem. I/we seem to have been living in a fictional reality.

No – that’s not right. It’s that we somehow construct our sense of reality based on our perception of what we believe to have occured/be occurring in our lives …and around us.

We actually get to choose the reality we live in to some extent …by our perception of what is and what we align with …and how we conduct ourselves.

Mostly I feel I am aligned with the raising frequencies and vibrations. I believe in them. I hold onto these beliefs with all my heart.

(I’m sure this would sound completely crazy to my dad, who I love and respect. But he is no longer with us in the physical world.)

Today, however, I woke with a bellyache. I had gone to bed self-righteously and distant because my husband wouldn’t talk to me about an issue I was annoyed about. I realized this morning that if he had simply worded his position differently, it would have been no issue.

Is this how I want to live? Causing strife and negativity around me?

No. I want to be that person who lets small things go, who recognizes what is important – my beloved partner, that our time together be harmonious, that wakes up each morning with gratitude …rather than remorse.

The debate was so unimportant. Different ways of communicating …a minor irritation.

I missed our gentle evening time together – listening to a story and then enjoying the back porch after dark …giving him a back scratch. This is the true gold in my life.

I will apologize this morning, forgive myself, and do my best to harvest all the blessings that are here for me in this day.

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Pilgrimage to the Ocean

by 8hummingbirdway

Last week I felt compelled to go visit the ocean, as if there was a call from Mother Ocean to my soul.

It had been too long since I was there. I had been to the Ocean last May in North Carolina, and walked along it in Massachusetts last September, but I now felt a call to a specific place where family and friends had gathered for years. In this place it feels as if the ocean knows me.

Nobody else felt the call, or had time to join me, so I took off by myself, driving most of the night with a couple of sleep stops. It’s about a 6 hour drive.

I arrived in the morning at low tide and I walked out on the beach.

I sat down a few feet from the water and started to cry – just a brief release. I was deeply grateful to find myself in this place – to smell it’s fragrance, to hear and see the waves, to walk on the sand and kick off my shoes.

I realized that this might be my last visit here, and I’m ok with than. I’m approaching 70, and the family no longer gathers here. These types of plans are generally in the hands of the next generation, and gatherings tend to be at someone’s home; nobody wants to camp out as we did near this slice of beach.

I had been thinking, as I planned and drove East, about the fact that the 4 main lineages of my ancestors all crossed this water to arrive at this coast – both to Canada, and to this shore.

So I thanked the Ocean for bringing us here safely, where my parents and their parents and their parents met.

Then I thanked this living body of water for her presence and connection with my family.

Then I sang a song to the spirits of the ocean that I always sing, whenever and wherever we meet. My son and daughter used to sing harmony when they were very young, and that was lovely.

After a while I decided to anoint myself and walked a couple steps into the gentle waves, reaching over from my waist to touch the water. I somehow lost my balance and fell back on my butt just as a wave was crashing in! It felt playful!

This was the first time I felt as if the Ocean had a consciousness, and this feeling sustained as my time there passed. I walked a ways down the beach, in and out of the water, then returned to my spot and immersed myself fully. (I had brought a bathing suit, but I was already wet.)

After a couple of dips, I sat down in the shallow water where the waved came higher and higher for about 20 minutes. Every wave was a delight and an embrace, as well as a playful connection. The waved moved up and finally one splashed my face and I decided it was time to go. I picked up my things, then took a moment and a last deep breath.

I changed into dry clothes and headed home – deeply grateful.

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Personal Expansion and Movement

by 8hummingbirdway

I know the reason things have improved in my relationship with my son. It’s because I recognized, trusted, and acted on the guidance that showed up for me.

It was initially the love from another mother/child bond that I observed – and actually felt – that reminded me I need to support my son, my adult child.

I then shared that experience and my personal challenges/feelings with a particular friend and she had another offering for me. She suggested that I write a few sentences daily – bringing my positive relationship with my son forth …by envisioning and expressing it as an extension of my support for him. My task was to feel the  bond, the love – as I wrote a few sentences – and finding deep gratitude for the change before it even occurred.

The warm and connected response from my son was discernible almost immediately.

He called more often. 

There was ease between us.

The synchronicity of this physical dimension is real.

The answers show up for all of us.

We CAN open ourselves to the information around us – and respond as guided.

Even if it feels strange. Even if we carry doubt or uncertainty.

This is how I’ve come to live my life, to simply accept and follow the wisdom that is evident in each moment of need or uncertainty. And to give thanks.

I feel a little like a crazy person writing this, but my life truly unfolds in this way. Infinitely more so if I allow the available wisdom to guide me.

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My Personal Obstacles to Wellbeing

by 8hummingbirdway

I wrote recently about addiction and mental illness. My personal path has not been as profoundly marked with these specific challenges as others, although both have significantly impacted my life. I have had some experiences which bring me to a level of understanding of others’ paths.

We can be waylaid for a decades by something we perceive as an obstacle – to realize later in life that it can be sidestepped and become a teaching, a strength. This feels like my story, but I’m not even sure how to name the obstacle. There were various aspects to my obstacle – family disharmony, sexual abuse, physical abuse, patterns of deception + betrayal, lack of spiritual or ethical guidance, favoritism – they all resulted in “low  self-esteem”, “codependency”, and other catch-phrases of my generation that are true and yet don’t quite reach the core of what was at play in my psyche. 

I am ”fortunate” in having sugar be my addiction, along with patterns of behavior, misunderstandings, and fear. Cane sugar addiction has been the external substance that has been “enemy” in my life. Both of my parents were diabetic and I recognized the danger in my 20s, but did not fully conquer it until this current decade, my 60s. It seems so small compared to drug and alcohol addictions, and it is. However, it impaired my health, my clarity, my balance and my state of mind. It was an impactful substance to my wellbeing on multiple levels.

Unlike more impactful addictions, sugar didn’t stop me from having a stable family, being a loving parent, holding down a job, or coming to love myself.

The teaching, the strength that resulted in having these challenges, is still at play. I am still learning humility, service and forbearance. These are the answers for me. Stop focusing on self and focus outward. What can I do to be of help? It sounds preachy as I write it, but in truth is has been such a help to me to learn to focus less on self (woe is me!) and look for the proper tasks to do that move me forward and make me a contributing member of my household, my family, my community. This includes a focus on gratitude.

My spiritual search helped mitigate my imbalance and brought me eventually to greater wellbeing, for which I am eternally grateful. It is the basis of my love and generosity, which calls me to the blessed path of helping others.

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My Daughter/My Sister

by 8hummingbirdway

I wrote recently about the fact that my sister gave birth to my oldest daughter. I believe this was a result of a choice I made that caused pain for both of them. See prior post.

My daughter’s path:

My oldest child was born to my sister, who had taken LSD multiple times with a group of friends at a young age, and at some point got “stuck” in an imbalance through her experience. At the age of 14 or 15, she was diagnosed with schizophrenia. Her partner, when she brecame pregnant, was an alcoholic who had served in Vietnam. Things were not easy in their home with a newborn child, and at the age of 3 months my daughter was brought to my mother’s house. My mom cared for her for 10 months while I trained for a career which would enable me to support a child.  One might think this was a simple happy ending, but all her life my daughter has carried the pain of abandonment that all adopted children carry. Trust has never come easy to her. For so many many years she felt less than others. She navigated an abusive marriage, which, thank God, she found the strength to leave when her sons were 8 +10. I carry this knowledge of my beloved daughter’s pain.

Today she is an amazing woman. She has healed and is still healing herself and her sons from abuse. She walks tall and is kind. My grandsons are wise and loving – in college and finding their way to full manhood. She has a job she loves and a partner she loves and is becoming a gardener like her mom (me) and also has a special feeling for animals like her biological mother did when she was younger.

She is a loving and supportive and wise and present daughter. I wish she was closer, but I can get to her in 3 hours. I give thanks for her daily.

My sister’s path:

My sister has not had an easy time of it. It was difficult for us (my parents and 4 siblings) to accept our loss of the gentle person we had known, her imbalance and delusions. She spent time in an institution early on, in which she suffered abuse of various kinds at the hands mostly of other patients, including rape. The medication she was given for mental illness made it difficult to think, function, or relate to others. She had a hard time navigating a job or keeping an apartment. Becoming pregnant did not add to her stability, but she did her best.

At the age of 22, my sister was a migrant worker in Florida. When she realized she was pregnant, she returned to the fold of her family. Her boyfriend followed her back North and they were supported to set up housekeeping in a nearby apartment. I lived 4 hours away, and I remember seeing her once during this time. She really did glow. When my sister went into labor almost 2 months prematurely, she was flown to a hospital. Her daughter was in an incubator for some time, without a lot of touch, as happens. My sister took a bus daily and pumped her breasts at the hospital in a city about an hour away to provide the benefit of natural immunities and nutrients carried only in breastmilk. I remember visiting the baby there. She was beautiful.

I don’t know what happened when she was released from the hospital. I was told that one day my sister’s boyfriend showed up at my mother’s door and told her that our sister had left and said “Here’s the baby.” My mom was not physically strong, but managed to care for the baby for close to a year.

I had no thoughts of parenthood, but my father was forceful – saying this child might be all we had of my sister. I acquiesced. Plans were made for me, the oldest, to become her guardian. About 7 months later the 2 of them showed back up again.

This is where my heart breaks. My sister had been pumping milk for all that time so that she could fill a bottle and once again step into motherhood. However, it was not a positive dynamic that they brought into my mother’s house. I had fully embraced the path ahead and “our” baby was now 10 months old. I was spending weekends with her at both my mom’s and my home.

Now my sister had returned and was setting up obstacles so the baby couldn’t get to my mom. She’d crawl over or around one, and another suitcase or box would be set up. Scarves were draped around her neck. I walked into this scenario unexpectedly on day of my sister’s return. My mom, paralyzed, was allowing this. I banished my sister and her boyfriend, taking “my” daughter home with me for a week while my mom had her locks changed. No conversations. No explanations. No attempt to navigate the change of course with compassion or grace. I just went into protective mom mode and took the action I perceived as correct. [Did I mention how much I loved and missed my sister? A story for another day.]

I think of this as the day I stole my sister’s child.

We didn’t see my sister again for years. This lovely child turned my boyfriend and I into parents; we got married and adopted her. We were a family. We had 2 more children a few years later. My sister did return to the area where our parents lived for a few years, and she and her biological (our) daughter got to know each other during family gatherings. Then she disappeared again. Nothing about any of this – presence or absence – was easy for either of them. 

My daughter never saw her biological father again. Our door was open to him and there was one aborted visit that broke her 4 year old heart. When she was a young adult, he called her off and on for a few years saying “Hi it’s your father.” She informed him one day that he was not her father, and maybe that’s when the calls began to include alcohol and anger. When she moved, he no longer had her number (cell phones). My daughter learned after trying to seek him out a couple years ago that he had died the prior year.

My sister now lives 2 times zones away, has a stable life and our youngest sister and her husband provide connection and family in the form of their children and grandchildren on a regular basis.

My gratitude is boundless.

So much pain all around. But a song arises, strangely from this telling. The words are …

From thee I receive, To thee I give, Together we share, And from this we live.

Because there is also so much love.

I thank my father for keeping my sister and my daughter in our lives.

I thank my youngest sister for providing so much for our challenged sister.

And as well as the knowledge of their pain, I carry the wonder of my sweet sister’s gift to me.

I will tell more about all of this – of us on our joined and separate journeys – at some point.

Listen to song mentioned above (hoping I posted it correctly). https://youtube.com/shorts/F1-eICA5hS0?feature=shared

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Daily Practice

by 8hummingbirdway

One of the best things I do for my personal wellbeing is to connect with God/Spirit/Source every day. For me, this is often first thing upon awakening. It sets the tone for the day and renews my deepest intentions. 

It’s kind of like a visit with my best friend. 

Actually, it IS a visit to my best friend .. and biggest supporter.

An altar can be as simple as a candle that you light to symbolize or enact this connection. Or sage to burn. Or water to anoint yourself. Or a stone to hold.

I have all of these present on my altar because I am oriented in an earth-based tradition where the simplest aspects of spirituality are earth, air, fire, and water. We all carry these 4 elements in this physical realm we inhabit.

Over time, other items have come to sit on and near my altar – small photos of my most beloved ones, reminders of my helping spirits, symbols of my ancestors, seashells + feathers, and reminder notes about how to navigate my life.

I realize as I write this, that my time at the altar IS prayer. The presence of the 4 elements and other items make it stand apart from what I have thought of as prayer. But it is the same action – being present to the spirit within and the source beyond. 

Anything can be spokenor expressed here at my altar …gratitude, requests, intentions. Also songs are sung.

Gratitude – I give thanks daily for my life and for the present day, for my loved ones and my home, for my ancestors who walked this earth before me and brought me forth. I give thanks also, as I am moved, for spiritual support, for opportunities, experiences, teachings, etc.

Requests – I ask for protection, transformation, healing, release, expansion, alignment with my soul, opportunity to help, 

Intentions are woven into my requests – to walk a path of service and humility, to be more aware, to navigate life with love and generosity, to be present and open, etc.

If you are stepping onto a new path of connection with God/Spirit/Source, or if you want to strengthen the path you are already on, you may find a daily practice of your own creation to be a help to you.

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Last Thanksgiving?

by 8hummingbirdway

I love Thanksgiving. It has long been my favorite holiday because of its simplicity, the blessing of calling people together, the simple activity of cooking together and sharing a meal, and the act of giving thanks together. Passover, which I learned to enjoy in my 30s, is a close second in its optimism and its celebration of freedom. It is also a lovely gathering of family and others around a specific meal, but …I don’t feel access to it in the same way. I wasn’t born into the tradition. We had a close friend nearby who would preside at our Passover table for several years in another state, but I rarely have a seat at the Passover table these days.

On Thanksgiving, I remember Grandma and Grandpa, aunts and uncles and cousins gathering in the late morning either at our home or my cousins. I remember the dates rolled in sugar that my father’s sister had on her table before the meal. I played with my cousins, Stephen, Kathy and Beth and my sister May. I soaked up some grandparent love and attention. We passed the time in these most pleasurable ways as Mom and Delphine focused on the extensive preparation of our elaborate and standard meal for a crowd on her fine china. This is one of the occasions where everyone would be called together to the living room, while we were waiting for the meal, so Dad could show off by standing on his hands and playing “Little Brown Jug” on his long abandoned violin. I remember Uncle Billy, a pastor, saying a Thanksgiving grace as the food steamed on the table before us and we impatiently waited to EAT!

As a parent, I took the lead in creating the holiday. Due to proximity, we usually had close friends rather than family join us, although sometimes my brother or sister would join the table. (I remember the year my younger daughter at the age of two absolutely would not keep her clothes on and she stood on her chair naked in the picture of us all at the table.) Although my children didn’t have cousins present, they had close friends. We did not possess fine china, but that was inconsequential to me. When we all sat down at the table, rather than listening to a prayer, we each took a turn giving thanks for the blessings of our lives before eating.

This is the tradition that my children were raised with and continue to facilitate, although an evolution has occurred. Now the cooking is shared by the generations. I still get the turkey into the oven and bring pie, but my son and daughter play their role, and my husband even made a pie this year. And now we start eating while the gratitude is shared around the table. I’m ok with that. I’m grateful to simply be there.

I told my children as they grew up that I wanted them to always come home for Thanksgiving when they grew up. The in-laws could have Christmas. This was successful for a long time, but now my older daughter is 3 hours away. She, her partner and my grown grandsons require flexibility away from “Over the River and Through the Woods to Grandmother’s House We Go.” So far my son has always come home, but the writing is on the wall, and I will have to travel in the future if I want to join a family table that includes my descendants. This morning I will go to my younger daughter’s house, about 30 minutes away, where she and her fiance will host the meal. My husband and stepson will be joining us (last year my ex-husband even came, which was nice).

My daughter and her husband-to-be will be moving to my son’s community next Summer, 8 hours away.

I have decided, while writing these words, that I will bring my fiddle to the Thanksgiving gathering today. I will call the memory of my father forth in words and by playing in my imperfect way “Little Brown Jug” before the meal. (I have only been “playing” for 2-3 months and it’s a very challenging instrument, I’ve discovered.) This is one small way I will feel that I can contribute to the passing on of the thread of family love …for my children and theirs.

There’s a plan for some of them to be here for Thanksgiving next year, but …I am unsure whether that will unfold. The future is uncertain. And I suppose I am letting go of this necessity to be at the table with them on this specific day. My oldest is 42, and so I have had a good long run.

Perhaps in the future we will join my brother-in-law’s table, although his wife has a large family. My husband is not inclined to travel hours to my family’s Thanksgiving. My beloved stepson and stepdaughter might be at our table, and possibly other friends – or we at theirs. I’m not ready to join the meal at the senior center, but I can see the blessing of simply arriving and chatting and sitting down to eat with friends. I do embrace change.

Expressing gratitude in community seems a blessed event to me. I am coming to terms with the changing shape of things. However I am not ready to stop. Perhaps I will try to incorporate giving thanks into some other gatherings. Or bring it to the table at home.

And …if my youngest daughter proves true in her intention to bring a couple of new humans into the world, I hope to be traveling to their table at this time of year in the future. Maybe by then I will be able to lure my husband too.

Gratitude Practice

by 8hummingbirdway

Sometimes a small decision or action can provide a significant impact.

I recently heard a spiritual leader say that a practice of gratitude can bring healing, light, and balance to one who feels victimized. I believe this to be true. I have seen this in play for others, and for myself as well. 

One simple way to shift into a place of gratitude is to write daily “I’m grateful for …” and list 5 things that pleased you in the day. This could be done throughout the day or in the evening. This practice keeps us on the lookout for the small blessings in life and shifts our focus so that we embrace what we experience in a new light. The warmth of the sun on your back, the fragrance and beauty of a flower, the sight of a loved one’s smile, …all these things gradually become the building blocks of pleasure and wellbeing. Each can be received as a gift just for you, for which you can more fully experience gratitude. 

Two friends sharing a daily list of 10 items by text or email can inspire both people, and also enhance a friendship, as well as your day.

Another way is to express gratitude in prayer, giving thanks directly for the blessings you are experiencing.

Sometimes the shift can start to occur right away, and sometimes it takes months of a gratitude practice to realize that you are finally coming from a new place, but the task is simple and the change, when you arrive, is profound.

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