Thanksgiving doesn’t hold what it used to hold for me. My kids are long gone.
I’m not the mother anymore in the same way. I am no longer the glue.
Nor would my kids, in their late 30’s and 40’s, allow me to be.
I wouldn’t know how, in truth. And I wouldn’t want to. I have moved on in my focus.
I’m grateful for the honor and privilege of raising the amazing people my children have become …and are still becoming.
I loved those family years more than I can say, but I have had to let them go.
It took a long time.
When my youngest went South, it was the last “straw.”
Not in a bad way.
Its life.
It wasn’t easy, but I’ve found my way.
I’m still finding my way.
Now my focus is not on family most of the time.
I would be a very sad person if it was. (I was sad for a while.)
And I know how lucky I am to have my beloved husband with me at this time of life.
However, more and more I’m simply on my own journey, which is largely my connection to and work with Spirit. With God and All That Is.
I do my best to be helpful and kind to others.
I connect with Creator every morning.
I take care of myself with good food, stretches, walking, etc.
I also listen to music I enjoy, go to plays with my husband, visit with my step kids, take road trips to visit my kids, spend time in Nature.
I’m even swimming again!
And dancing!
Sometimes it’s lonely, but mostly not.
I like myself.
Nobody ever told me about how to navigate this shift …only about “empty nest syndrome.”
There is significant richness in my life again!
Life can be so much more than I ever knew.
It’s my intention to sustain awareness of this, and find the joy where it now lies.
Also I intend to make choices based on what I’m comfortable with, what I want, and what’s best for me.
Who else should do it?
Its my time.
Now.
I walk in gratitude for the most part.
I trust and love myself more and more as time goes by.
So …I will come to Thanksgiving if any of my kids come North. There has been talk of that this year, and of them hosting a holiday meal.
I will gratefully show up in the best way I can.
I will enjoy the connections to the best of my ability – regardless of who I sit next to or across from.
I will drift back to my house when the music/activities/conversations don’t interest me, or I feel disconnected or tired.
My love for my children, and other family members, is eternal.
However …I look to myself for my own wellbeing. This has been the case for some time, but I am just recently recognizing it, standing firmly in it, …owning it.
When I stand in this clarity, I also realize I have no need for approval of what I do – or the choices I make. By anyone.
This is very freeing!
Not to say I don’t care. I do care about the feelings of my significant others.
However, if I am not having the relationship I’d prefer to have with others – children, husband, siblings, or others who are significant in my life …I can come to terms with it and move forward anyway.
On my own.
I hope to sustain a positive connection with all my beloved ones, but if it doesn’t work out, I will have my cry or my rant (hopefully to myself), I will probably tell my husband my troubles …if I need to.
I hope to learn to simply shrug my shoulders, move on, and let it all go …trusting in the eventual return of enduring harmony.
Maybe I’ll never cause disappointment or concern again …but that seems unlikely.
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