Deception, Confusion and Disappointment in Myself

Yesterday I woke thinking about about the post I wrote the day before, the one that showed up before this, called “The Wounded Father.” I felt, as I scheduled it, that I should read it again. But I didn’t. The day was busy.

I also had a dream that night that showed I had been or was being deceptive. And then I realized that it was about my post.

The post cast a negative shadow on another person, a person I care about. A person who is doing his best, like most of us.

He will not read the post, nor will his children, who inspired the post.

I thought about removing the post , but this seems cowardly …like sweeping things under the rug. I don’t like doing that. [the post was removed on 7/21/25]

I will remove it eventually, maybe next week. But first I want to lay myself bare …to the best of my ability.

I don’t quite understand the word …deceptive. I exposed some aspects of a person and his upbringing in some detail …then I went into a discussion of the plight of the male, something I have wanted to write about, have started to write about in the past. But I left out aspects that I beleive are important, skimming over the topic, leaving a pretense of having addressed it – and him – with wisdom and understanding.

So I guess that’s it. The word “pretense” makes it clear to me. A version of deception.

The post also lacks qualities I try to bring forth – like inspiration, or shining a light on something, or offering resolution, understanding. It was an attempt that should have been reworked or discarded.

I have been wanting to write more, but not in this way. Each message must have clarity, purpose, integrity …reflecting my truth.

I do want to thank the reader that commented positively on the post. I was glad it had some value for her. And I agree with her – that things are changing for the better.

Blessings,

Annie

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