Tag: tribal

Bad Indians

by 8hummingbirdway

A Tribal Memoir by Deborah A Miranda

I resumed reading this book this morning after a month or so. It is breaking my heart. But those are just words. After I read all I could this morning I held the book against my heart and felt such grief. Just a few tears where there should be rivers.

There have been rivers.

The first part of the book tells the story of the “Mission Indians” of California, who were of multiple tribes and who were displaced, enslaved, and broken from the 1770s to the 1830s.

This brokenness continues today in their descendants. There is so much loss – of self, of knowledge, of pride, of well-being, of sacred ways, of connection to Earth, of the ability to raise and protect one’s children, of language, of truth.

I am not saying very much, I know. It is too much.

Truth is told in this book in a personal and heart-breaking way.

It was difficult to read at first; now I am gulping it down.

At first I encountered simply anger. I thought I did not want to read angry bitterness. But I pushed on because part of my current journey is to read the truth of the tribal people in this country. And anger is part of it, of course – as uncomfortable as that might be.

I barely touched tribalism in the 3 countries I visited in Africa this February.

This feather of a touch has awakened a yearning within me for the richness of the ancient ways. And of course – one of the places to look is to the people and the stories of the tribes of this land – where I was born and have lived my life.

I did not know anything about the native people in California. I have already learned, in the first section of the book, a great deal.

Peeking into the next section, I have discovered that a law was passed in the early 1850’s that facilitated killing Indians from the California goldfields. $25 was paid for a male body part (a scalp, a hand) and $5 for a female body part. Congress appropriated and paid out over one million dollars for this service.

Nixon revoked this law in 1970.

There is so much we do not know of the effort to rip those close to the Earth from their ancient and sacred ways …and to simply use humans for personal gain.

This book is historic, tragic, personal, generous, and so much more.

It is brave and proud.

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Mitigating my Lack of a Tribe

by 8hummingbirdway

I’ve written a bit about my childhood and about imbalance in my life.

I’ve shared my belief that living in alignment with the earth, the natural cycles and ancient ways is beneficial for humans. It’s my experience and understanding that these ways that I have come to identify as “tribal” provide guidance, wisdom, and a sense of self that is not generally available in our current culture of technology and disconnection.

During my life I learned and came in contact with things that have been helpful to me. These areas of knowledge, wisdom and engagement – as well as personal practices, have helped me to know myself and to be my best self. Some of these pathways have been significant in my life and have brought me to increased balance and wellbeing. They are the ground I stand on.

Gardening. I was fortunate to have learned a bit about gardening from a high school boyfriend. It stuck with me, this connection to the land and to providing for myself. I love spending time in the garden – the smell of the earth, the planting of the seed. It took me years and years to become a reliable weeder and to be committed to harvest of the bounty. My husband is also an avid gardener. In the Fall, he collects seeds from flowers and vegetables for the next year. In winter we plan for the next season, take stock of seeds, and order what we need. As well as providing food and beauty, gardening connects me to the earth and the seasons, and brings me outside to the sun and wind. This is a lovely element and foundation in my life.

Eating well. Gardening led me to eating healthy food. In college I became a vegetarian. I got involved in food cooperatives a bit later, and experimented with different variations in cooking and eating. Over time, I came to feel that strict dietary rules were not for me, but I still lean toward eating plenty of vegetables, some locally raised meat, and awareness of what foods are in season. I tend to eat more raw vegetables and salads in summer and more cooked food in the cold part of the year. My biggest challenge with eating has always been sugar. I will save my diatribe on sugar for another day for those who are interested.

Learning. I’ve had a longtime interest in “the Nature of Reality,” as I call it. I loved learning about the physics experiments that show the behavior of electrons are impacted by our expectations! I know a little about sacred geometry. I love math too (thanks to my dad, an actuary).

I do my best to stay open-minded. I read, and I study topics that interest me. I discuss ideas with my oldest daughter and my husband and with friends.

Engaging with children. If my sister had been able to care for her child, I might never have been a mom. If not, my life would have been seriously deficient. I am not saying this is true for others – but I personally identify so much as a mother. My life is exponentially richer for having my 3 children. And engaging with other children too. They have so many questions and ideas! And they are so loving and open. They also need guidance – and to be heard.

Our home became that place where other kids went to play and get some snacks and green vegetables. One neighbor could NOT get enough broccoli and another one snuck cans of tuna from my pantry – both raised on pizza delivery. Children also came for the safe space, and sometimes returned in part for the friendly, steady mom with a listening ear – and some firm rules about respect. Teenagers too.

Later, in NY, I drove a school bus for several years, which was challenging, but I loved the kids. And quite a few of them needed a listening ear too.

I will say that whether one has children or not, children (and elders and disabled people) are part of humanity. For some it’s animals that draw our attention. We all benefit from being needed. These others help us to connect genuinely and also to find our best and most generous + loving selves. I’m not saying everyone should be a parent. It’s a massive commitment and challenge from birth to …my oldest is 43 and I do worry about her sometimes. I don’t let it come between us, but I walk with an awareness of the needs and wellbeing of all my children (and other humans), and sometimes that is tough – as well as being a gift.

Meditation. I practiced meditation off + on. Long-term, it helped me live more in my heart than my head. It helped me to let go of the worry and stress. Most of all, it taught me to be present, which has been a significant gift. Being present meant no more constant brain chatter (worry, analyzing, etc.), being more aware of my surroundings, knowing how I feel, being present for my children and others. At this point in time I rarely meditate, although I do some breathing exercises sometimes and that is similar in result. Yoga is also a good choice. Or walking/hiking – especially in the woods. [Also – moving extends and increases longevity.]

Self-sufficiency (less now than in the past). About 25 years ago I moved from a lovely small city in CT where I had largely raised my children – to the Northern Catskills. I had this idea I could homestead – raise my own food, live off the grid, continue to homeschool my kids. My mom was living with us then and I was still married to my first husband, a musician who travelled a lot. I learned that one person cannot homestead – especially alone, in my 40s, short on finances, with a bunch of responsibilities, including trying to build a home on 5 acres (living in a 1972 “manufactured home” with a composting toilet). But I had a huge garden and canned some food, economized with homemade bread + soups/stews. I had chickens for eggs and meat, [and 2 pigs one year), and learned how to butcher chickens. (Sorry you animal lovers, but it has to be done if you are eating meat. I’m one of those who would rather face it myself. I know the animals are raised with love and killed humanely. One day I’d be singing to the chickens and the next day one would be in the pot and a few in the freezer.) We also heated with wood; we still enjoy stacking it, but we stopped cutting it ourselves.

The house did get built, and we helped. New wood stove. Along with a septic system!

Later my 2nd husband left his village home and was raising bees and increasing the presence of flowers, fruit trees and greenspace on the property. We also installed a hand pump on our well for emergency water. More recently we moved to less than a half acre of level ground in a nearby village. There’s a hike nearby and we can walk 1/2 mile for music, library, post office, community, decent food. We had a wood stove installed in the Fall. Bees and chickens are coming this Spring!

Living with Nature. Moving to the hills was one of my best choices. It probably wasn’t the best choice for my marriage at the time (increased distance from NYC …with Mom), but it was definitely good for my soul. Peace, stars in the dark nights, shoveling snow – the only sound a hawk or coyote, the big garden fruit trees/bushes, the woods, the small pond we cooled off in. I am deeply glad I got to have that time and become a country woman. (Country kids too!)

Full moon circles with other women. We share, we listen, we sing, we take action for ourselves or others with simple “rituals”, (such as creative artwork, a healing prayer, a gratitude dance), and then we feast. The connection in this group formed a tribe of sorts. I participated in and led these groups for over 30 years until Covid split up the most recent group. Sometimes I think of returning to it.

Shamanic studies and practices. Later in life, my shamanic studies and work have increased my understanding of the nature of reality, which is now significantly more expansive. Probably the most important aspects of this to me have been 1) the help I have been able to offer others and provide to others and 2) the ancestor work I’ve done, which has helped me to understand and honor my predecessors on this earth.

I am no authority on life …and yet I have learned to look to my soul for the interpretation of spiritual guidance. This is my authority – Spirit/God/Source and the wisdom I inherently possess. Yes I pay my taxes and put on my seatbelt, but beyond that I have come to trust myself to discern what is right for me.

We all possess this wisdom. We simply have to learn to exercise it …and trust it.

Addendum: My older daughter recently told me that her 24 year old son (my grandson) said to her that he has read several times recently that you don’t grow up until you have children. I find that true in my case. Providing for others – those you must put first – was a transformational experience.

I’m also delighted to imagine that perhaps there will be great-grandchildren in my future!

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Queen Diambi

by 8hummingbirdway

A friend has shared with me the story of Queen Diambi of Congo. She lives in the USA and discovered her heritage in her late 40s. So joyful and hopeful! I have watched a long video of an interview with her. (See link below) Almost 2 hours and it has taken me a couple of weeks – but I am so glad I took the time! Much is happening in Africa and globally! Great wisdom and messages are shared in the interview.

Great change is coming! I an deeply heartened.

Here is my letter to Queen Diambi tonight.

Dear Queen Diambi:
I humbly write to you. I have just seen and listened to your interview with Robert Edward Grant. I am a 68 year old woman who lives in the hills of upstate NY and I returned less than a month ago from a journey to Congo. I connected with an organization in Goma called “Remember Youth for Change” which brings love and help and support to the community and to refugees in the area. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bxAap-JkGAo

[Bienve speaks directly to us from his heart in this short video linked above.]

There is much challenge in Goma now as the international mafia is closing in on the city, removing those nearby from their land to attempt to gain wealth from the minerals that have been found there.

I am changed by my journey, and a friend shared your video with me which is so inspiring. Thank you.

I am having a vision of a new world and especially of preserving and revealing and looking to tribal ways.

I love what you said about the journey of Africans in this country.

My (adopted) daughter, my sister’s child, is the daughter of a Native American man, taken from his tribe at the age of 4 or 5 and a woman of European descent. She married an African American man and her 2 sons carry a great deal, both suffering and transformation. One has just been elected to his local school board in CT at the age of 22 and plans to attend law school. The other, 24, went to Uganda with my son and is on his own journey, also in college.

I don’t know why I am telling you all this. I suppose it has to do with tribal ways and healing and personal strength …and the joining of multiple cultures through my daughter.

I am a shamanic practitioner, which ties me personally to tribal wisdom. My mission is to help.

I am helping Bienvenu Kamwendo, the founder of “Remember Youth for Change,” in his mission to bring meaning and wellbeing to young people through music. I’m hoping to send a few saxophones soon to join the musical mission he has started in Goma – along with the sewing enterprise he has created which provides school shirts for refugee students, and re-usable menstrual pads for sale. He oversees gardens that provide food in the refugee camps and so much more. I had the privilege of connecting with children and others in the Bulango Refugee Camp outside of Goma, providing a large meal there and connected with those in another camp for displaced persons as well.

My trip was short, just over a week, but it has changed me. I am finding my way to my new self through writing. My story starts on the blog at 8hummingbirdway.com – on 2/8/2024.

I felt so moved by your interview. Thank you. I had to reach out.

Thank you for your presence and your path and your work in the remote villages you preside over.

All blessings.

Listen to Robert Edward Grant’s interview with Queen Diambi https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BR5r11Ui0K4&t=2357s

Navigating Life with the Lack of a Tribe

by 8hummingbirdway

I believe that my yearning for being born in another time, and for simpler ways, closer to the land is the result of being born into this physical reality without the proper guidance of those who might teach me about who I am, how to conduct myself, and how to live and provide for myself. We enter this word in need of guidance about who we are, how to navigate challenges, how to honor ourselves and to make sense of our lives.

Once a group of people leaves the tribal paradigm, we generally no longer grow our own food or build our own homes. We become dependent on an external version of property, propriety and status. We are not taught how to live in balance, how to honor ourselves and others, or how to live and eat in harmony with the seasons. We are not taught about who we are, who our people are, who our ancestors are, where they came from, or what they believed. Most of us do not have a place on the earth, do not have a clear sense of responsibility to our community, to our elders, or to our children.

Parents in our current paradigm have little time for their children. I was lucky to have been raised by those who did their best for me, my parents – though looking back I can see that they too, though they did their best, were lost.

Today, many people, possibly most people in our culture, are on a treadmill of providing funds for food that may not nourish their families, funds so we can dress in ways and have things that will allow us to “fit in” or to impress others, providing wealth rather than stability and self-understanding to their children. Children are raised predominantly in some sort of childcare arrangement and they are taught in schools. The public school lessons are mostly void of values, understanding of self and others, or guidance/training that helps one sort out how to move confidently into adulthood in a way that satisfies or provides for the self, and contributes to the greater good.

When I reached adulthood, I floundered. Jobs, colleges, and relationships with others were somewhat random; they came and went. I did not know how to evaluate myself, my choices or have clear goals. Looking back, I see that the events around me formed my life, not any internalized wisdom, sense of self, sense of place, or understanding of the world around me.

I did not know who I was.

I was generally a caring person, but had little sense of personal boundaries or values. I became a parent because my sister wasn’t able to care for her child and I was the oldest. I married to protect the status of my daughter from her alcoholic biological father and his brother, an attorney.

Parenting was the start of true learning, but I still had a long way to go.

I soon recognized that I carried negative patterns of blame and punishment from my childhood that I could not align with. I had no firm and positive understanding of how to be a parent, nor did I have the biological benefit of instinct kicking in. I turned to books to learn, and I started to gain better parenting skills through reading and experience.

Within a couple of years I strayed from my marriage …when the urge struck, without much thought or understanding about this choice. Within a year or two, I managed to recognize the error (it hurt my heart), and receded back into the marriage that I had established without recognizing that deception and lying were not positive ways to conduct myself.

I never told my husband, but I did tell my children after leaving the marriage. Was that positive? I still don’t know.

There was a fair amount of deception and lying in my childhood, both within my family and elsewhere.

We went on this way, my husband earning a living in a way that did not align with what was legal at the time. We had 2 more children, I worked in the corporate world that I did not respect. My children were in childcare from a very young age.

Shortly after my youngest child was born, I had 2 memories of being sexually abused as a child. I went to a therapist and learned that much of my behavior (controlling behavior, sexual discomfort and bad personal boundaries) were classic patterns of people with this type of experience in childhood.

This memory is what changed my life – for the better, but not without a terrible price.

I realized so much about myself. I worked for years to heal my deep wounds, to correct my ways. One of the first things I realized is that I had been a liar. I stopped in my tracks …or tried to. It was not easy. I had to change a lot of patterns, such as gossip, social white lies, untruths for convenience. Over the years I have gained strength. Sometimes I divert answers so as not to hurt …or to simply keep my thoughts + opinions to myself.

Today I do not lie or practice deception.

My life took a turn. I had left the corporate world and started a house cleaning business that was simple and honest and I provided work for others and paid them well. As the business grew, I was able to homeschool all 3 of my children for two to 4 years, which was a blessing for all of us.

I continued my spiritual search, now standing on more solid ground, understanding more about myself, having established truth, and the beginnings of true personal growth and strength.

The terrible price? Before I fully aligned with truth, I told one last careless untruth, unbeknownst to myself at the time.

I will write more about this soon.

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Tribal Ways on Planet Earth

by 8hummingbirdway

I have long perceived tribalism as a sacred way of living.

Until very recently, my perception and understanding of tribal ways has largely been informed by my limited knowledge of Native American tribes. There is something about this way of life that tugs strongly on my soul.

In my early 20s I first came to feel that I was born in the wrong time; I still yearn for greater simplicity, even though it comes along with a harder life, and sometimes a shorter one. The richness to me of connection to nature and to each other, and of simplicity seems incalculable in comparison to our current path of what I would call Disconnection.

My deepest connection, even in childhood, has been to the Land and to Trees and to Water and to Music and to Loved Ones and to other simple aspects of life that I now understand connect me to “Spirit.”

My knowledge early in life was largely of this land, North America, and it’s history. When I looked back in time, I looked to homesteading and growing one’s own food, having access to nature, including plants and animals. A life like this is also more connected to the cycles of nature.

In my late 20s and 30s I researched and learned about Native American history, practices, and beliefs. What I learned aligned with my understanding of what is important and valueable in this life. And so when I looked to the past, I now had a broader view, which included the four directions, the four elements, ways of planting according to natural cycles, animal and plant spirits, and other sacred tribal ways.

My knowledge of Native American tribal ways also includes stories such as “Dances with Wolves,” The Education of Little Tree, and Return of the Bird Tribes. All of these stories bring me to tears. These tears are not unrelated to the tears I held back when I visited the Bulango Refugee Camp in Democratic Republic of Congo, where the refugees have been very recently ousted from their ancestral (tribal) lands, and are now reorienting themselves in a strange place with no connection to their longheld and sacred ways.

Another experience that informed my understanding of my own yearnings for deep connection was participating in and leading full moon gatherings for over 30 years, something I will share about another time. This practice brought to me a deeper awareness of natural cycles, and simple practices that align with gratitude, wisdom, compassion, and more.

The final aspect that connects me to tribal ways is my shamanic work, which includes journey circles and shamanic healing. I could write a great deal about this. For now, I will simply say that it is sacred work that originates with a tribal understanding of the soul. And I must include the fact that Ancestors, the Four Elements, as well as Animal Spirits and Plant Spirits, Great Spirit or Creator, and our Natural World and Cycles play significant roles in tribal ways of life and perception, in my work, and in my life.

My visit to Africa has me returning to the deepest inquiries of my soul with new information, a broader perspective, and some questions.

I have a great deal more to say regarding these matters.

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First Refugee Camp – School Visit

by 8hummingbirdway

The Africa Posts

Our host, Bienve, and staff from the nonprofit organization Remember Youth for Change https://www.facebook.com/rememberyouthforchange drove us to the refugee camp.

Our first stop was at the school. This school is a community school, and the staff found a way to expand and meet the needs of the displaced children as well as those who already attended. The teachers teach the local children in the mornings and then teach displaced children from the camp in the afternoons.

The afternoon class is large from the camp, and the students only go to school if their parents approve their attendance. There are many many children in the camp – and about 30 lined up for new shirts. There may be more who attend. I’m not sure how large the entire afternoon class is, but we only had about 20 shirts to hand out.

Most displaced parents do not want their children to attend school. From what I know, formal education is not part of a tribal lifestyle.

I’m glad for the rule about school being a parental decision; when we schooled the native children in our country, the parents did not get to approve the decision. After forcing Native Americans from their tribal lands, our forefathers then took their children from the broken tribes – and “schooled” them (often in boarding schools) to conform to European/American religion and culture. The children were not allowed to use their given names or speak their native languages. [Read The Education of Little Tree if you want to know more about this.

Here of course, the story is different. An external military unit forced these people from their tribal lands, and transformed them into refugees. The schooling is a generosity, from what I can tell. The people still sing their songs, keep their names, sustain their tribal identities, and go home to their mothers* and siblings.

I know that Bienve respects the tribal ways.

Regardless of intention, the tribal ways and the tribal closeness to and alliance with Mother Earth has been shattered, along with the connection to ancestors.

And these children are going to have to navigate the dominant culture in DRC (Congo).

Last Thursday we stood on the porch of the schoolhouse, and my son and I were handed the new bright white shirts with their nice collars that give pride and a semblance of having a uniform to these students in this land where school children wear uniforms if they can afford them. The children were happy to get them. although there weren’t enough for everyone. I knew the sewing machines were at work to provide new shirts for all.

I was uncomfortable giving out the shirts, as if I had had a part in providing them. My son had been part of providing funding, but he was uncomfortable too ,he later said. It felt like a “photo opportunity” for us to be honored and photographed in this formal way. I made the most of it by being present for each child in the best way I could.

I believe that they thought we would want to be honored in this way. “Look at us and the good we are doing!” In truth, my son came to know the conditions, how the funding was benefitting others, and how to best move forward to help in the best way possible. As for me, I came to connect with and support my son, and my further purpose unfolded in Goma.

As we progressed down the line, I realized that these shirts were replacements, that the gray/brown shirts the children had on were the very same shirts. They had been worn daily for some time, were in a state of disrepair, and dirty.

Here is a photo of 2 students in their white shirts.

Our next move was to drive deeper into the camp, walk around, and visit some of the individual homes.

*Mothers and children make up the camp, aside from a very small number of older men. I do not know where the fathers are. I fear they are lost, that there are no men for the women and no male role models for the children. My guess is that they died attempting to defend their villages. I have many unanswered questions that I wish I had thought to ask. For this I apologize. I was so overwhelmed, and we moved so fast during this week, that many questions did not surface until I was on my way home.

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