Tag: Spirituality

I’m Coming out of the Closet!

by 8hummingbirdway

It has taken a long time, but this morning during a meditation/breathwork session, it became clear that it is time. I have some things to offer and I am going to bring them forward. I have lost my fear …of ridicule …of failure …of not being able to stand in the light …of what might come through during channeling Lei Lei.

I have stated that I am a channel on my FaceBook profile and written a few random things over time. This morning I posted this:

For almost a year now, I have been channeling a loving being named Lei Lei …since last September. I was engaged in a healing process that included dream analysis. It was explained to me that my dreams were messages from my soul. I received two messages repeatedly …one about my health and one that I had agreed before this incarnation to channel. I resisted both messages initially, but when a dream indicated that I was not fulfilling my mission in this life, I decided to try to comply. It’s been an amazing journey, a blessed journey. I had to learn to trust, and there were agreements that had to be made between Lei Lei and I. I had to learn how to raise my frequency and to get my mind out of the way so that the messages, healing and information could come through from the higher realm exactly as intended.

I have much more to share about this – about who exactly Lei Lei is, and I will be bringing messages forth, and who knows what will unfold!

Life is wondrous!

This is a departure for me. I can’t say exactly why, but a page has turned.

Oh, I guess it’s the fear thing.

Gratitude.

Private sessions are offered in person and remotely by phone or video conference. Contact Annie to book a session, host a workshop, for sliding scale rates or to discuss barter arrangements.

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Message of Release from Lei Lei

by 8hummingbirdway

This message has come through Lei Lei recently. Different versions of this message of release have been provided to different individuals. Release seems to be a common and important message at this time.

We want to offer you a way to release that which you are struggling with, a way to release patterns and thoughts and wounds and burdens that you are traveling with, that no longer serve you, and that you are ready to release.

Our guidance is that when you step into the water, a shower, a bath, or into any body of water (pool, lake), that you say audibly, “I release that which no longer serves me.” And this will allow you to let go, to cut the binds that are constricting you, to release old patterns.

You will find that there are times when you will release more than one thing. You may or may not become aware of that which you are releasing, and this is not necessary.

And you also may find that sometimes a pattern or a wound that has been or is now significant in your life may take repeated releasings so that you may enter the water and say that you are ready to release or ask for release or express your intention to release all that no longer serves you. You may find yourself working on a specific pattern or wound for a period of time. You may or may not be aware of the specific wound.

One of the ways that you may become aware of these wounds is through memories that rise up just in your mind that you have not thought of for some time …or dreams that show you various aspects of a pattern or wound, the same pattern and wound repeatedly. 

This is not something that we are requiring of you. It is simply an offer.

There is no expectation. 

There is another alternate way which will allow you to double up on the releases or to do it in a different way. When you are settling into bed at night and sleep is approaching or you are approaching sleep, you can say the same thing.

“I intend to release that which no longer serves me.” 

You can choose to do this multiple times a day, both bathing and sleeping or swimming …or you could do it once a week. 

You can decide how to utilize this practice for yourself in the way that feels best for you.

Blessings to you.

Private sessions are offered in person and remotely by phone or video conference. Contact Annie to book a session, host a workshop, for sliding scale rates or to discuss barter arrangements.

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Karmic Pain and Healing

by 8hummingbirdway

In the past several months I have learned some things about karmic pain.

  1. The pain is real.
  2. It cannot be diagnosed or healed by a medical professional.
  3. It is a release that you can facilitate – if you want to resolve it (and remove the pain).
  4. It may be the result of harm you did to someone in this lifetime, but is often a result of some harm you did to another in a past life. You were the perpetrator – the cause of harm to another.
  5. You can “go within” to discover what the origin of your pain is. Trust what comes to you – a story or visual image of what occurred in the past. The information you receive may be simple or elaborate.

In my 30’s I experienced jaw pain for several months. I had a massage therapist work on it repeatedly, doing deep muscle work. No impact. I consulted with a dentist. Nothing was amiss. One day I screamed into a pillow in frustration …and the pain was gone! I got into my car and drove for about a half hour to a nearby city, screaming all the way and all the way back. It never bothered me again …until this fall.

I have mentioned being engaged with a healing process called Soul Convergence this year. A significant part of the process is to resolve one’s karma, which includes harm one may have done to others. At one point in the process, quite a few participants were experiencing pain that they could not explain.

I cannot say why my jaw pain was dormant for almost 40 years. But this Fall, it resurfaced. I was guided to go within, and I experienced my jaw being caved in as a result of a battle incident. Then I realized I was experiencing the injury that I had done to another. I had been in battle, but this clubbing of another man was done out of cruelty – above and beyond the necessities of battle.

Week after week it was increasingly painful. The pain went from my jaw to my ear, the area of my eyes, and down into my throat. This is what the man I injured experienced, along with shame of his hideous injury, his infected tissue and crumbling skull. He pretended to eat, but could barely drink …and died within a few weeks. I had a great deal of information about this injury.

I eventually learned to go into the pain. I remembered that a woman I had once met talked about mitigating pain by entering it, and I decided to try this. It helped and relieved the pain I was experiencing. I can’t say how this works, but it did.

One morning I woke and the pain was gone.

I have a few other areas of pain I’ve been guided to address as a result of harming others in other lifetimes. One other story was not elaborate like this one. I haven’t gone into the others yet.

According to the teachings of Soul Convergence, it’s time to resolve our karma.

We are moving from a karmic reality to a dharmic reality. I don’t fully know what this means, but now is the time to resolve karma.

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More about my sacred pipe

by 8hummingbirdway

[Back in early February, I started to write this post. It links back to a prior post about the Native American leg of my spiritual journey in this life I’m living. I have thought often about finishing the story, but it was hard to write. I did not navigate events in the way I would have liked to.

If you want to know more about my religious background and my starting place, you can also read about my early experience with Christianity.]

My spiritual search began in my late 20s. I was drawn to Earth-based spirituality, and I knew enough about the practices of those who inhabited this land before us that they honored Earth, Nature, the cycles of the seasons and of the sun and moon, as well as animal and plant spirits. I researched and studied about various tribes for a couple of years.

It turned out that my destination was not to align fully with Native American spirituality, as you will see. However it gifted me with a sacred pipe ceremony. I learned (from the book Return of the Bird Tribes by Ken Carey) this ceremony and a beautiful story of it’s origin in my 30s brought me a way to connect with my deepest self, and to make decisions with an awareness of “All that is.”

This is the part of the story I didn’t share earlier, about how I moved on in my 30s from the Native American chapter of my search …

I shared this sacred practice of the pipe ceremony with friends and family. It was a beautiful way to navigate life and to approach decision-making and sometimes even to speak difficult words or resolve disharmony. Read more about my experience with the pipe and the pipe ceremony here.

Eventually I extended myself to share the pipe ceremony with more people. I arranged with a friend, Steve, who offered a space for classes and small concerts – to offer the pipe story and ceremony there. In the small empty carpeted room I constructed a circle with branches and marked the 4 directions, each person entering at the East, the place of beginnings. We all sat on the floor and I read the story of White Buffalo Calf Woman bringing the pipe to the Soiux …then we smoked the pipe together as the ceremony instructs.

It was lovely. I met a neighbor who I hadn’t known and about 8 or 10 other people showed up. Afterward we talked and then people dispersed.

I had a jar for donations and I raised about $12 that went toward paying my babysitter that evening.

I decided to do it again and Steve advertised in the Hartford newspaper that I would be sharing the pipe ceremony for donations. And the trouble began. A non-native was making money from the sacred tribal traditions.

I knew that people had co-opted native practices, such as sweat lodges and vision quests – and capitalized upon them. I didn’t perceive myself in that light, but I can see from where I now stand that there is a fine line …and who knows where I was going with this?

The descendants of the people my ancestors and their leaders betrayed saw yet another betrayal. People started calling me in concern and anger. Some people were openhearted and listened to my explanation of how I came to share the pipe with others. The pipe-carrier of the Mohegan Nation and I had a very long talk and he was fine with what I was doing.

Some did not want to know what I had to say. Suddenly I was facing anger and threats against my family and my home.

I managed to turn the advertised sharing of the pipe ceremony into a meeting with some tribal leaders in the Hartford area. I was young and did not navigate this meeting well. I was afraid and did not speak when I could have.

Later I realized that I should have led the meeting, explaining my journey to the pipe (as I had with the pipe-carrier). But the threats had frightened me. I sat and waited, disempowered by my fear. I was told that a chief was here. I was made to understand that he was wasting his time. Later I understood what happened, and I have forgiven myself for my lack.

I did not attempt to share the pipe again with others not close to me, although my relationship with the pipe continued for many years after I left Connecticut.

I was looking for a spiritual home, but this did not show up as being a path for me. I did not find a person who would share with me, or invite me to share in Native American spiritual gatherings or experiences. I assumed they were closed to outsiders because of my experience, but I don’t know that it was true. With all that occurred on this continent I would not blame them if it was true. Or maybe I was simply too scared to ask.

I cannot recall who told me that I should turn to my own heritage, but that’s what I did.

Later, a teacher of sacred ways of some earth-based European traditions said to me that we were born on this soil and we live our lives on this soil and some of the voices and elements that speak to us carry Native ways. This helped me to make peace with myself and what had happened with attempting to share my pipe.

I didn’t understand until writing this post, how deeply this experience aligns with and informs my current orientation about tribal ways, the ancient ways that have gifted me with a way to heal and to help others. I am grateful now for my experience with the Mohegan community in CT. And I acknowledge this experience as a part of my path and understanding of the healing.

Since I am living on this continent, I expect that my studies on tribal experience and ways will focus to some degree on the tribes of this land, as well as on the African connections I now have.

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Being the ‘Momma’ in Africa

by 8hummingbirdway

The Africa Posts

While in Africa on this journey with my son, as he attends to his missions (the non-profit groups he founded and co-founded), I have the status of “the Momma.” Sometimes I hear “Hello Mommy” in a restaurant, a park, or informal gathering mostly from a woman. But in formal groups where my son has provided support and funding, I am clearly recognized in an official capacity as my son’s mama (or “Momma”, as I hear it).

This status of Momma is definitely an honor, especially when I am recognized as the mother of my respected son. I am 2nd in order of respect in any of these groups, including head teachers and others of status. I am introduced after him and given substantial credit for the man he is and his good work. They want me to say a few words to the captive audience. And I do. In educational groups where Literate Earth Project is the group represented I say how important books were in our family, how I read to my son from early on. That’s about it, I’m no orator. It was uncomfortable the first time, but I appreciate the recognition that his background and mother are an aspect of who he is, what he does. And I get to express warmth to a group in just a couple of sentences, where I may have only had a chance to speak personally with 2 people.

In DRC (Democratic Republic of Congo) there has been less call to talk. When I did speak, I said a few words about love – and especially honoring all children – in my broken French.

Interested in learning more about Remember Youth for Change, the local nonprofit group in Goma, DRC? https://www.facebook.com/rememberyouthforchange

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My Religious Background

by 8hummingbirdway

I felt some hesitance to write about these classes I dreamed of that seemed to “train children up” – a Christian term you may have heard regarding education. This is how I envision Laura Ingalls Wilder being raised, which seemed good to me. (I only read a few of her books as an adult. I loved them – and read them to at least one of my children.) But I was not aligned with Christianity at the time, and “training children up” was something that in my younger days sounded somewhat harsh to me.

I have also written some thoughts on how children might be more fully educated as part of this thread of exploration.

Perhaps the Laura Ingalls Wilder books are what led me to seek out a church when my older daughter was approaching her teen years and my other two were 5+7. We spent a year or more attending a Unitarian church, where the sermons were soul-nourishing. We were just starting to make connections in the congregation when life’s demands did not allow the hour drive any longer.

I was raised in a family that attended a Congregational church on Sundays, but did not seem to truly embrace the values of Christianity. My mother said we went to church to engage with community – not a bad thing, but we did not give thanks at our meals, and the word God was rarely spoken in our home.

When I was a teenager, my mother said it was important to put myself in other people’s shoes – to imagine what it would be like to be them, with their challenges. This meant a great deal to me, and I took it to heart. I had heard of the Golden Rule and I embraced it the best I could. But that was the only life lesson I can recall receiving from either parent. Of course I don’t remember everything – but I’m certain that the presence of God was not spoken about or acknowledged in any real or way in my childhood home.

There was one Sunday school lesson may have been the reason we stopped attending church. I came home and said to my mom “Now I know why people hate the Jews – Jesus was killed by the Jews!” She was very upset by this and explained to me that Jesus was Jewish. Mom was very vocal and I’m pretty sure she spoke about this with the minister. My mother came to adulthood during World War 2, and her German family were social outcasts to some extent during that time. Her best friend during my childhood was Jewish – the mom of “Jerry” in my recent story. Mom and Dad both believed that all people should be treated equally – all races, religions, and nationalities. I am deeply grateful for this aspect of my upbringing.

I am a lover of all people. Even those who go astray, or who I leave behind, who have hurt me or my loved ones. I can’t help it. I don’t stop loving those who I have loved. This does not always set well with others – and it is sometimes painful to me. I have learned not to always mention it. Such as my friend’s ex-spouse, or the friend of my daughter who betrayed her. But I still carry them in my heart once I learn to love them. Sometimes I carry anger as well – but eventually that falls away, and love is all that is left. I like being this way. It’s gentle and it’s full-hearted.

When I was in middle school, I started attending a Baptist church occasionally with my best friend’s family. I was actually baptized with my best friend there. I remember taking classes to prepare us for baptism and I remember having a really hard time with the concept of accepting Jesus as my lord and savior AND with the belief that he died for our sins. But my best friend was going to do it, so I finally stopped questioning and just went ahead.

My friend and I attended a Baptist youth camp for several years. I loved the Christian songs I learned there around the campfire there and I sang them all year long. I still sing some of them. “Jesus walked this lonesome valley. He had to walk it by himself. Nobody else could walk it for him. He had to walk it by himself.” Love it.

But this was the place of my final separation from Christianity. One morning I was sitting at a bible study class. I can’t recall what exactly we were reading/studying, but it involved Hell – which was a concern of mine. When it came time for discussion, I asked a question that had been on my mind for some time. “If a person who was born to a tribe in South America or Africa never heard of Jesus, would he go to hell when he died?” The answer from the youth pastor was yes. And that was the end of Christianity for me.

My love of others and my belief in equality and fairness for all was stronger than any alignment with a harsh and punishing God.

Later my best friend’s mom told me that not all pastors would have answered this question the same way – but I had turned away. I didn’t want to belong to a group where any others felt this way, leaving me to sift through. Any paradigm I would sign onto would be a loving one, as would it’s followers.

And for most of my life the word “God” made me uncomfortable.

It has been a very long journey back to God. My spiritual search started in my late 20s. And only recently – in the past few years – has my perception of spiritual community expanded to include Christianity.

I do feel some alignment with the concept of “training up children.” In truth, I don’t know a lot about it, and I realize there are probably as many versions as there are families.

My children were raised in a family that valued honesty and compassion and respect for all. I would add discipline and devotion and prayer if I were to raise children today. Although it would probably be a conglomeration of what I have garnered from my spiritual search, not from a specific institution or book.

Wisdom and truth often come late in life. And there are as many versions as there are people. I am still learning.

Private sessions are offered in person and remotely by phone or video conference. Contact Annie to book a session, host a workshop, for sliding scale rates or to discuss barter arrangements.