A loved one asked me in early August if I could journey for someone else, a longtime friend, who plans to end his life. I said yes, but that he would have to ask me himself, or be ok with it – that he should reach out to me. A couple of weeks later he did. I will call him F (for friend). I have been on a journey with F for about 2 months.
On our first call we spoke for an hour and a half about his life. He is currently driving around the country in his car on a “farewell/gratitude” tour, visiting those who have been important in his life. He plans to end his life in April 2024. He told me during that conversation that as a young child he asked his mother “Why did you bring me here?” He has never felt that this physical reality was his home. He has not aligned with others that feel like his people. He calls himself “relational” – meaning that he cares more for people and authenticity than for things or peripheral occurrences or what might be driving forces for others. He also has seen his mother and his aunt suffer from dementia in recent years, and he does not want to experience it. He does not have children to tether him or to look out for him in his aging years. He has no strong love for any particular place here on Earth to feed his spirit and to hold him.
As we spoke, we were very open and forthright and a friendship developed. I feel strongly aligned with F and I recognize him as a warrior, which is something I have found in myself and in others. Warriorship to me means that one has strong values and stands in their truth, stands FOR the truth as they see it, walking a path of authenticity that nobody can sway or influence. F is a loving, wise, openhearted man. My opinion is that this physical reality in which we live NEEDS warriors like him in the current time of confusion, division, corruption and deception. I expressed this to F, but he feels he has done his time and is ready to leave it behind.
I shared with him about the work I do and told him I thought soul retrieval might be helpful. He was open to the possibility.
On our second long call, F told me that he is thinking about “exiting” in December 2023 rather than April 2024 to avoid bringing darkness to the birthday month of a sibling. We spoke about patterns in his life and I found him to be unusually self-aware. Surprisingly to me, F does not believe in a soul, or that one’s core being sustains after death. This felt like a substantial obstacle to my being able to assist him. However, we set a time for a soul retrieval process.
I asked for chalnneled guidance from Sri Pune and was told that my working with F would be an opportunity to create a shift for him.
On a 3rd call we talked about his family of origin; he is close with some of his siblings and had a positive relationship with his mother. His relationship with his father was not close or supportive. He did have 3 significant men in his life that were positive role models.
I did a soul retrieval for F in late September and returned 2 soul parts to him very early one morning. A 2 year old holding onto a kitchen chair and a 4 year old sitting under a tree. He reported that he woke with a great deal of energy.
F’s journey took him to Long Island, and I felt moved to invite him, this close friend of a beloved one, to join me in a visit to my daughter’s home in CT in mid-October. He also felt that it would be positive to meet. The next part of the soul retrieval process was to teach him to journey, and doing it in person is always a delight. F was surprisingly open to it; he enjoyed the experience. We had dinners and campfires at night with my family. We became friends in the physical realm and our time together felt “soulful.”
Now he is on the road continuing his gratitude/farewell journey. Heading south toward warmth.
He keeps reminding me that he has not changed his mind.
I have to say that I understand F. I remember reading long ago that when the time came to leave this world, in some Native American tribes, the elders would simply walk over the hill to make the journey on. I am a few years older than F, but I am tethered by my beloved children, husband, grandchildren, stepchildren, my work helping others, and by my love of this earth, the woods, the ocean. I can, however, imagine a time when I will be ready to go.
F has no descendants to tether him, nor is he tethered to the land. He moved a great deal in his life, especially at an early age, and now he is on a long journey in his car, without an anchor. He has an estranged wife that he cares for, but she does not provide a reason to stay.
This warrior is a vibrant strong man of wisdom and love.
I am grateful for the opportunity to work with F.
I am somehow encouraged by the fact that F + I have developed a strong connection and genuine affection.
I am encouraged by my gut sense that it’s not his time yet.
I am hoping for him to make a new choice.
However, in all honesty, I am not attached to the outcome.
I know in my heart and soul that F WILL continue on after death. And I will check on him if he chooses that path to make sure he arrives in a place of wellbeing, love and light.
In the meantime, I am committed to doing the best that I can for F. I am pulling for him. I don’t have a sense that it’s his time. I feel we need him.
We will continue the soul retrieval process when he has a long stop later this month and in early November. There are integration journeys ahead (to align with his returned soul parts), releases to make, important questions to answer, and more.
I hope this work will be pivotal.
I hope that beloved others that F connects with on this gratitude/farewell journey of his will reach out with love and show him they ARE his people, that there are pockets of love in this world, and cause him to want to stay here in the physical realm with their support.
I envision him finding solace and purpose.
Of course this is not mine to decide.
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8 hummingbird way 