Almost a year and a half ago my sister-in-law and her husband lost their beautiful home in Ashville, NC. Their home had been on the market …and suddenly there was no home. The insurance company determined that the home was destroyed by a mudslide rather than the hurricane …and so they were not covered.
This home was worth a great deal – over a million dollars. It was days before people could get to them, and when they were rescued, the insurance company initially put them up in a hotel …and they slowly came to terms with their new reality.
Since then, they have been living in an RV, working at state parks in the South, most recently in Georgia. They are in their 60s, and this has hit them very hard.
Meanwhile, our northern holiday gathering with my brother-in-law’s family was rescheduled for the following Saturday – 2 days after Christmas.
Just before Christmas, my husband spoke with his sister on the phone. She was having a tough spell and shared some challenges with him.
He told her about the snow we were getting …and the upcoming gathering. We had talked of inviting them to come North, and he did. It was not a surprise that she couldn’t afford to come, but the sadness in her voice hit us hard.
In the background, I encouraged him to offer to fly them up.
Generosity has always been a point of contention between us. My husband is fiscally conservative and a great saver, for which I am very grateful …and I tend to be generous to a fault. (We keep some of our finances seperate, and we have both mitigated our tendencies. Happily, this difference between us has ceased to be a bone of contention in our marriage.)
I watched him as he grappled with the idea of being generous on this level – flying his sister and her husband North to join the family gathering. We had all missed them so much, and felt in our hearts the loss and disorientation they were still navigating.
And then it happened. He offered to fly them up!
Initially she declined, because this just wasn’t done in their family. However, she agreed a few minutes later …and within an hour, flights were booked and paid.
My husband had never before expereinced being the source of generosity in this substantial way. He was elated.
The family holiday gathering was a deeply important and connected reunion for all of us.
As I write this, I realize it’s actually the first time we’ve all gathered since their mom died 2 years ago.
My step-kids were able to join the fray, and we were all able to enjoy an extended time together.
There were a few small gifts, and a great deal of palpable love, joy and laughter.
My husband glowed with internal happiness – as the hero that brought his sister home.
It has been amazing to witness this generosity. I have seen it showing up in small ways, slowly growing. But this was a significant expansion …and a big departure.
Even now, I feel tears close to the surface. I am deeply moved and grateful.
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8 hummingbird way 