Last week I had a session with a trusted healer and friend, G.
Energy work is something I don’t fully understand. I know it includes balancing chakras, the intuition of the healer, and the trust of the client. In my experience with the person I work with, it includes the guidance of spiritual beings.
I also know it has brought me significant healing – physical, emotional, spiritual, + mental.
I don’t always have a specific reason for making an appointment for energy work. It had been a few months, and I felt it was time.
This time I started by letting G know that I had fallen and hurt my knee the day before, so it might be sensitive. She asked about the incident and I told her I had been walking in the dark around my neighborhood and that when took a step with my right foot, I suddenly felt there was no ground under my foot, and I tumbled. I also mentioned that this experience felt very similar to an experience I had in Uganda in February on my trip to Africa. The new wound was within an inch of the scar from that injury.
G asked me about the feeling of the ground not being beneath me. Was there anything that tied the 2 events together?
Thinking back to February, I remembered that this was a day when my son and I had had a falling out. I had flown a very long way to meet him, was exhausted, and that first afternoon he felt I said the something unsupportive. I felt disconnected and didn’t know what to do or say to make things ok between us.
Interestingly, I had had a falling out with my younger daughter on a visit north – about a week before my recent fall, which resulted in her not speaking to me for a few days.
My connection with my 3 children are definitely part of the ground I stand on. Being a mom and being in harmony with them, supportive, present when called upon – these are deeply important to me.
I shared a lot of thoughts and feelings about all this with G verbally, and after a while she encouraged me to leave the realm of words …and be more present for myself, to connect with my heart as she worked.
After a bit I came back to talking as she worked – about the blessing of having children and how it was one of the richest times in my life, being in that time of bringing forth life and being engaged with love and being the center of my children’s world …and just all the blessing! And now having adult children who no longer look at me at that way (naturally), and don’t really have a significant need for me in their lives (or so it seems to me).
G told me then that her guides had a message for me – that when a person agrees to give birth to a child they also agree to have their heart broken.
This felt profoundly true to me. I closed my eyes, and saw an ocean of loss before me. Just gentle shaded waves of loss.
The tears came for a while.
Later in our session, G passed on the message that when your heart is fully broken, the door is open for things to come back into balance with your child.
I wept the next day as well and then absorbed myself in tasks. The next morning my daughter, nearby again, reached out to me and asked if I’d like to take a walk. We did walk, and had a harmonious connection. I kept in mind the fact that she is having a hard time right now and she does not need my needs or concerns or judgment regarding how she is handling things.
I find myself hoping my heart has been fully broken …I can find a new balance with her.
I wonder the same in relation to my son. Things have shifted with him; have I arrived?
I know I have crossed that bridge with my oldest daughter. Once my greatest challenge, she is now one of my closest allies in this life.
I am grateful for this new understanding and for moving forward toward being supportive, toward increased blessing, balance, and love.
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8 hummingbird way 