Tag: changing patterns

Witnessing Generosity

by 8hummingbirdway

Almost a year and a half ago my sister-in-law and her husband lost their beautiful home in Ashville, NC. Their home had been on the market …and suddenly there was no home. The insurance company determined that the home was destroyed by a mudslide rather than the hurricane …and so they were not covered.

This home was worth a great deal – over a million dollars. It was days before people could get to them, and when they were rescued, the insurance company initially put them up in a hotel …and they slowly came to terms with their new reality.

Since then, they have been living in an RV, working at state parks in the South, most recently in Georgia. They are in their 60s, and this has hit them very hard.

Meanwhile, our northern holiday gathering with my brother-in-law’s family was rescheduled for the following Saturday – 2 days after Christmas.

Just before Christmas, my husband spoke with his sister on the phone. She was having a tough spell and shared some challenges with him.

He told her about the snow we were getting …and the upcoming gathering. We had talked of inviting them to come North, and he did. It was not a surprise that she couldn’t afford to come, but the sadness in her voice hit us hard.

In the background, I encouraged him to offer to fly them up.

Generosity has always been a point of contention between us. My husband is fiscally conservative and a great saver, for which I am very grateful …and I tend to be generous to a fault. (We keep some of our finances seperate, and we have both mitigated our tendencies. Happily, this difference between us has ceased to be a bone of contention in our marriage.)

I watched him as he grappled with the idea of being generous on this level – flying his sister and her husband North to join the family gathering. We had all missed them so much, and felt in our hearts the loss and disorientation they were still navigating.

And then it happened. He offered to fly them up!

Initially she declined, because this just wasn’t done in their family. However, she agreed a few minutes later …and within an hour, flights were booked and paid.

My husband had never before expereinced being the source of generosity in this substantial way. He was elated.

The family holiday gathering was a deeply important and connected reunion for all of us.

As I write this, I realize it’s actually the first time we’ve all gathered since their mom died 2 years ago.

My step-kids were able to join the fray, and we were all able to enjoy an extended time together.

There were a few small gifts, and a great deal of palpable love, joy and laughter.

My husband glowed with internal happiness – as the hero that brought his sister home.

It has been amazing to witness this generosity. I have seen it showing up in small ways, slowly growing. But this was a significant expansion …and a big departure.

Even now, I feel tears close to the surface. I am deeply moved and grateful.

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Patterns

by 8hummingbirdway

I have discovered many patterns within myself recently. Patterns I don’t like. Patterns I am ashamed to carry.

They keep showing up one by one.

It’s part of what occurs during the healing process I am on called Soul Convergence. I wrote about this in July, when I was 3 weeks into the journey. Now, in October, I have several weeks to go and I cannot imagine each time I receive a new guided meditation, where it will bring me.

The process contains more than I can describe. It is not for the faint of heart, but it is profound and deep and healing. An amazing amount of love is provided by the Angels who support the process.

It is also exhausting on some level that I don’t understand. I am simply spending about an hour each day listening and opening to the messages …but I am navigating a great deal internally.

As well as love and healing, I am confronted with myself, over and over, more and more deeply. Recognition of patterns I have carried show up during the meditations, in my dreams, and in my behavior. I suppose I am seeing with different eyes these days.

In my last post I wrote about recognizing a pattern of judgement – and speaking about another in a disparaging way about their choices in parenting.

I have also recognized that I have had trouble letting go of what is past – people, ideas, feelings.

I learned that I have interfered in the lives of others. I haven’t been about to mind my own business.

I noticed that I have carried a tendency of thinking I know what everyone ELSE should do, even if I haven’t said anything.

I’ve discovered that I shared what people have said about others with those others – without even realizing it.

I have realize that I act like a spoiled brat sometimes.

I have seen myself being lazy, selfish, and judgmental.

This has all been deeply upsetting and difficult. But I’ve come to understand that this is part of the path I’ve chosen and I have learned to navigate each instance within a few hours, to make a different choice more aligned with the integrity I WANT to align with, and to return to balance fairly quickly.

Making a different choice helps me to release the pattern …and activate a new way of being.

I am happy to say that my family still loves me. They did even before I learned these things about myself. Not that they want to hear about all this. I get that. We all have our own paths.

I am looking forward to landing on my feet after this Soul Convergence.

Next month I will see who I am.

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Changing Patterns

by 8hummingbirdway

I have recently been engaged with a powerful healing program (called Soul Convergence – provided by Anne Tucker) that has allowed me to change my ways. Instead of arguing or raising my voice I have developed the ability to remain calm or simply restrain from response. Of course this is not the answer to every problem, but it has been a huge challenge for me to keep my own counsel, not to allow the opinions or criticisms of others to move me to a defensive position and to throw words back. It has been a long pattern, and I am deeply grateful.

The relief is palpable within me. Remaining calm and present was simply not available to me in the past. Now my most “difficult” loved ones are hearing me, and we arrive at understanding and peace much more quickly. (Sometimes we never did in the past.). AND I see corresponding changes within them – which makes me doubly blessed.

This morning I found this lesson in my email and I want to share it with you, as it aligns with my experience in this area.

Same Choices, Same Results:

Repeated bouts of adversity are an unavoidable aspect of human existence. We battle against our inner struggles or outer world forces, and in many cases, we emerge on the opposite side of the struggle stronger and better equipped to cope with the challenges yet to come. However, we can occasionally encounter trials that seem utterly hopeless. We strike at them with all of our creativity and perseverance, hoping desperately to bring about change, only to meet with the same results as always. Often, our first instinct in such situations is to push harder against the seemingly immovable obstruction before us, assuming that this time we will be met with a different outcome. But staying power and stamina net us little when the same choices consistently garner the same results. A change in perspective, behavior, or response can do so much more to help us move past points where no amount of effort seems sufficient to overcome the difficulties before us.

Whether our intention is to change ourselves or some element of the world around us, we cannot simply wish for transformation or hope that our lives will be altered through circumstance. If our patterns of thought and behavior remain unchanged, our lives will continue to unfold much as they have previously. Patterns in which fruitless efforts prevail can be overcome with self examination and courage. It is our bravery that allows us to question the choices we have made thus far and to channel our effort into innovation. Asking questions and making small adjustments to your thought processes and behaviors will help you discover what works, so you can leave that which does not work behind you. To break free from those unconscious patterns that have long held sway over your actions and reactions, you will likely have to challenge your assumptions on a most basic level. You must accept once and for all that your beliefs with regard to cause and effect may no longer be in accordance with your needs.

Stagnation is often a sign that great changes are on the horizon. Courting the change you wish to see in yourself and in the world around you is a matter of acknowledging that only change begets change. The results you so ardently want to realize are well within the realm of possibility, and you need only step away from the well-worn circular path to explore the untried paths that lie beyond it.

This teaching was offered by DailyOM at https://www.dailyom.com/inspiration

I am hoping to assist others in the way of healing that I have recently been able to access, called Soul Convergence. It’s origin is with the Angelic realm. If you are interested, contact me here.

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