Tag: change

Changing Patterns

by 8hummingbirdway

I have recently been engaged with a powerful healing program (called Soul Convergence – provided by Anne Tucker) that has allowed me to change my ways. Instead of arguing or raising my voice I have developed the ability to remain calm or simply restrain from response. Of course this is not the answer to every problem, but it has been a huge challenge for me to keep my own counsel, not to allow the opinions or criticisms of others to move me to a defensive position and to throw words back. It has been a long pattern, and I am deeply grateful.

The relief is palpable within me. Remaining calm and present was simply not available to me in the past. Now my most “difficult” loved ones are hearing me, and we arrive at understanding and peace much more quickly. (Sometimes we never did in the past.). AND I see corresponding changes within them – which makes me doubly blessed.

This morning I found this lesson in my email and I want to share it with you, as it aligns with my experience in this area.

Same Choices, Same Results:

Repeated bouts of adversity are an unavoidable aspect of human existence. We battle against our inner struggles or outer world forces, and in many cases, we emerge on the opposite side of the struggle stronger and better equipped to cope with the challenges yet to come. However, we can occasionally encounter trials that seem utterly hopeless. We strike at them with all of our creativity and perseverance, hoping desperately to bring about change, only to meet with the same results as always. Often, our first instinct in such situations is to push harder against the seemingly immovable obstruction before us, assuming that this time we will be met with a different outcome. But staying power and stamina net us little when the same choices consistently garner the same results. A change in perspective, behavior, or response can do so much more to help us move past points where no amount of effort seems sufficient to overcome the difficulties before us.

Whether our intention is to change ourselves or some element of the world around us, we cannot simply wish for transformation or hope that our lives will be altered through circumstance. If our patterns of thought and behavior remain unchanged, our lives will continue to unfold much as they have previously. Patterns in which fruitless efforts prevail can be overcome with self examination and courage. It is our bravery that allows us to question the choices we have made thus far and to channel our effort into innovation. Asking questions and making small adjustments to your thought processes and behaviors will help you discover what works, so you can leave that which does not work behind you. To break free from those unconscious patterns that have long held sway over your actions and reactions, you will likely have to challenge your assumptions on a most basic level. You must accept once and for all that your beliefs with regard to cause and effect may no longer be in accordance with your needs.

Stagnation is often a sign that great changes are on the horizon. Courting the change you wish to see in yourself and in the world around you is a matter of acknowledging that only change begets change. The results you so ardently want to realize are well within the realm of possibility, and you need only step away from the well-worn circular path to explore the untried paths that lie beyond it.

This teaching was offered by DailyOM at https://www.dailyom.com/inspiration

I am hoping to assist others in the way of healing that I have recently been able to access, called Soul Convergence. It’s origin is with the Angelic realm. If you are interested, contact me here.

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The Ripple Effect

by 8hummingbirdway

This is important information about how our choices and words and actions matter a great deal. I know it is true, and so often forget.

It’s easy to wonder the value of self in times of challenge and exhaustion.

I was reminded a couple days ago by the post below, renewing me and my path forward.

Gratitude.

See below message for link.

In a world of eight billion people, it’s easy to believe that the only way to initiate profound transformation is to take extreme action. Each of us, however, carries within us the capacity to change the world in small ways for better or worse. Everything we do and think affects the people in our lives, and their reactions in turn affect others. As the effect of a seemingly insignificant word passes from person to person, its impact grows and can become a source of great joy, inspiration, anxiety, or pain. Your thoughts and actions are like stones dropped into still waters, causing ripples to spread and expand as they move outward. The impact you have on the world is greater than you could ever imagine, and the choices you make can have far-reaching consequences. You can use the ripple effect to make a positive difference and spread waves of kindness that will wash over the world.

The recipient of a good deed will likely feel compelled to do a good deed for someone else. Someone feeling the effects of negative energy will be more likely to pass on that negative energy. One act of charity, one thoughtful deed, or even one positive thought can pass from individual to individual, snowballing until it becomes a group movement or the ray of hope that saves someone’s life. Every transformation, just like every ripple, has a point of origin. You must believe in your ability to be that point of origin if you want to use the ripples you create to spread goodness. Consider the effect of your thoughts and actions, and try to act graciously as much as possible.

A smile directed at a stranger, a compliment given to a friend, an attitude of laughter, or a thoughtful gesture can send ripples that spread among your loved ones and associates out into your community and throughout the world. You have the power to touch the lives of everyone you come into contact with and everyone those people come into contact with. The momentum of your influence will grow as your ripples move onward and outward. One of those ripples could become a tidal wave of love and kindness.

This message was sent to me by DailyOM. I enjoy many of their messages.

Sign up for free daily inspiration at https://www.dailyom.com/inspiration/

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The Perpetrator, Shame and Punishment

by 8hummingbirdway

[I wrote this post back in January. It was part of looking back at myself and at cultural issues that concern me.]

I am going to share my belief that our culture could and should advance to the point where the perpetrator of harm is helped to release shame.

Why? Because shame is a block to healing. Because the abused person often becomes the perpetrator. And because if we do not see to the wounds of the perpetrator, we perpetuate the harm.

Before one can change ingrained patters of unhealthy and harmful behavior, they must release the shame that comes along with those patterns – whether perpetrator or injured party – often one and the same.

What is shame? Here’s my definition: Shame is the belief of inherent depravety and wrongness of the self.

What does shame do to an individual? It keeps them down, separate, and stuck in imbalance. This imbalance is deeply harmful and limiting. It also is the trigger that initiates undesirable behavior that harms others and the greater community.

I know something about this. I used to carry shame. As a person who was sexually abused. As a child of parents who did not always treat me as a treasured being. As a liar. As the oldest daughter who did not always treat my siblings as treasured beings. And there you have it. The shamed one shames others. It spreads more surely than any virus.

Most of my life I carried shame. It is a heavy load. It stopped me from applying for jobs I was qualified for and would have excelled at. It stopped me from speaking up for myself, expressing my ideas, even talking to others. It stopped me from feeling at ease in my skin – from dancing or singing around others. It stopped me from being at ease with sexuality. I could go on.

I am fortunate that I was able to sustain two marriages and raise three children. I could have done better. I have my regrets. But in the family arena I navigated well for the most part.

I am not sure when the shame actually left me. It was in the past 3 years. (I’m 68.) It was a spiritual journey of coming to terms with my mother, with myself, and with Spirit/Source/ God. A year ago I started posting on Facebook about my shamanic practice. It was only this past summer that confidence was finally born within me, enabling me to offer journey circles to people I didn’t know, enabling me to call forth this website, giving me the opportunity to share the contents of my soul.

Shame is harmful and dark; it destroys people and relationships.

I do not support the current paradigm of prison. It’s inhumane – and it’s another thing to be ashamed about.

Healing should be the focus if one must be separated from the society at large due to their behavior. Not in a punishment that adds deep insult to injury and sets one up to fail on their release. Education and rehabilitation are given lip service, but no personal account that I have ever heard includes true opportunity – except for the occasional opportunity to interact with those who have a healing intention – either inmates or others.

I’m aware of the current pattern of releasing individuals who don’t obey the laws. I am not suggesting that there should be no repercussion for actions against others or against property.

I am also not saying that I align with every law.

I simply cannot see how we can heal humanity without ensuring that all humans have the right to the basic necessities of freedom, food, shelter, clothing – and work in a respectful environment.

I am aware that the color of one’s skin, the language one speaks, and the wealth in one’s bank account mitigate a great deal of “having to pay the price,” and this strengthens my feelings about the unfairness that exists in our legal system.

I do believe that we must, at least in our wealthy country of privilege, find a way to provide access to true wellbeing for all who are able and willing to participate in a functional way, and a safety net for those at risk, should they chose to employ it.

I believe we can and eventually will move forward to a open, loving and healing existence. I see the seeds sprouting all around me.

Once we find a solution to our current paradigm of shame, unfairness, imbalance and harm, I hope that we will spread the healing worldwide.

I am not saying that I know how to bring this to reality. I have confidence that if we were to make healing and personal wellbeing a true priority, those in powers could navigate much closer to this goal. I’m not saying our currently elected leaders will do this. I see no evidence of that possibility.

I will simply say that I believe all humans can be healed to a great extent, that they want to be healed, and that this should be a top priority and intention in families, in all our institutions – including schools, and in our legal systems.

Obviously there is a great deal of work to do.

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Total Eclipse

by 8hummingbirdway

The eclipse is coming!

We hope for sunny skies on Monday to witness full visibility of the total eclipse a couple hours away from home.

[My husband and I were fortunate to be gifted with a stay in North Carolina during the 2017 eclipse by some friends who had a change of plan. The total eclipse then was stunning! It was the most powerful natural phenomenon I have witnessed in this lifetime.]

Perhaps this year will be even more remarkable – with solar flares to be seen during totality!

My delightful stepson is joining us on Monday.

Totality can be seen in the Rochester, in Burlington and other NY and VT locations.

This event on the afternoon of April 8th will be the last total eclipse in the USA until 2044. The next one in NY is in 2079.

I have heard several reports that this eclipse brings forth and portends change for the better on our planet.

I have been made aware of channel Ann Tucker, speak of changes before the end of the year that include transformation for humanity. Here is her most recent offering. Channeled: Important Details about What’s Coming! (youtube.com)

Astrological reports have similar information.

I enjoyed this report from astrologer Molly McCord. You might enjoy this message from her. Aries Solar Eclipse – Rebirthing Through A New Sense of Self-Awareness and Ongoing Healing Process (youtube.com)

I don’t understand everything she says; I do feel drawn to learn more about astrology.

I’m hoping life will allow me to learn more about this area of knowledge while I’m here. Molly’s focus is more on greater impacts for all of us, rather than reports on romance, wealth, etc. Often she speaks of planetary as well as broad aspects of what is at play.

There are additional talks about this upcoming eclipse, by Molly and by others. Sri Pune offers this message of change on my friend Norlen Linn’s website: https://norlenlinn.com/2024/01/27/sri-pune-speaks-on-frequency-of-change/

I have listened to and read reports of predicted change since my 20s and I hope they are upon us. I am ready for change. I believe the change ahead, whenever it comes, will be challenging as well as uplifting. I embrace any change that is aligned with God/Creator/Spirit and will help us move forward to maximize our potential.

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Time Brings Change

by 8hummingbirdway

When I visited my closest friend just after she gave birth, there was an incident in which her baby ejected projectile diarrhea on a wall 5 feet away. It was nothing I’d ever seen before – amazing! 100 years ago it would have been in bad taste to tell anyone about this, and I don’t think my grandmother would have appreciated it 50 years ago. In those days we had to be protected from this aspect of life. (Shameful bodily functions such as defecating!) And it wasn’t a normal baby poop event, hence …additionally shameful?

Bodily functions were definitely not discussed by my grandmother. I’m sure she contended with baby poop regularly, but it was the woman’s domain and my grandfather was protected from it. And yes, shame was part of this package of secrecy.

Over time it has become standard for both parents to contend with diaper changes. This familiarity and comfort helps to diffuse the impact of shame significantly.

You get the idea. Defecation and feces has been normalized over time. Today, you might not enjoy visualizing the event I described, but most people don’t give it another thought.

I’m hoping that in another 50 or 100 years we humans will be more comfortable with our bodies – maybe enough to discuss sex with ease. I know the younger generations have made strides forward in this arena.

Sexual abuse, other forms of abuse, and human trafficking also need to be brought into the light of awareness. Associated shame needs to be healed. Hopefully there will be no place for these harmful realities in our world in the next century.

I also hope we will be more knowledgeable about what is now called mental illness and addiction. The move to consider them not the fault of the person, and the recognition of heredity are positive movements toward the eradication of shame. I predict we will eventually be able to discuss all of these matters without shame coming into play within ourselves – or in the reactions of others. It will be as appropriate as poop.

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Last Thanksgiving?

by 8hummingbirdway

I love Thanksgiving. It has long been my favorite holiday because of its simplicity, the blessing of calling people together, the simple activity of cooking together and sharing a meal, and the act of giving thanks together. Passover, which I learned to enjoy in my 30s, is a close second in its optimism and its celebration of freedom. It is also a lovely gathering of family and others around a specific meal, but …I don’t feel access to it in the same way. I wasn’t born into the tradition. We had a close friend nearby who would preside at our Passover table for several years in another state, but I rarely have a seat at the Passover table these days.

On Thanksgiving, I remember Grandma and Grandpa, aunts and uncles and cousins gathering in the late morning either at our home or my cousins. I remember the dates rolled in sugar that my father’s sister had on her table before the meal. I played with my cousins, Stephen, Kathy and Beth and my sister May. I soaked up some grandparent love and attention. We passed the time in these most pleasurable ways as Mom and Delphine focused on the extensive preparation of our elaborate and standard meal for a crowd on her fine china. This is one of the occasions where everyone would be called together to the living room, while we were waiting for the meal, so Dad could show off by standing on his hands and playing “Little Brown Jug” on his long abandoned violin. I remember Uncle Billy, a pastor, saying a Thanksgiving grace as the food steamed on the table before us and we impatiently waited to EAT!

As a parent, I took the lead in creating the holiday. Due to proximity, we usually had close friends rather than family join us, although sometimes my brother or sister would join the table. (I remember the year my younger daughter at the age of two absolutely would not keep her clothes on and she stood on her chair naked in the picture of us all at the table.) Although my children didn’t have cousins present, they had close friends. We did not possess fine china, but that was inconsequential to me. When we all sat down at the table, rather than listening to a prayer, we each took a turn giving thanks for the blessings of our lives before eating.

This is the tradition that my children were raised with and continue to facilitate, although an evolution has occurred. Now the cooking is shared by the generations. I still get the turkey into the oven and bring pie, but my son and daughter play their role, and my husband even made a pie this year. And now we start eating while the gratitude is shared around the table. I’m ok with that. I’m grateful to simply be there.

I told my children as they grew up that I wanted them to always come home for Thanksgiving when they grew up. The in-laws could have Christmas. This was successful for a long time, but now my older daughter is 3 hours away. She, her partner and my grown grandsons require flexibility away from “Over the River and Through the Woods to Grandmother’s House We Go.” So far my son has always come home, but the writing is on the wall, and I will have to travel in the future if I want to join a family table that includes my descendants. This morning I will go to my younger daughter’s house, about 30 minutes away, where she and her fiance will host the meal. My husband and stepson will be joining us (last year my ex-husband even came, which was nice).

My daughter and her husband-to-be will be moving to my son’s community next Summer, 8 hours away.

I have decided, while writing these words, that I will bring my fiddle to the Thanksgiving gathering today. I will call the memory of my father forth in words and by playing in my imperfect way “Little Brown Jug” before the meal. (I have only been “playing” for 2-3 months and it’s a very challenging instrument, I’ve discovered.) This is one small way I will feel that I can contribute to the passing on of the thread of family love …for my children and theirs.

There’s a plan for some of them to be here for Thanksgiving next year, but …I am unsure whether that will unfold. The future is uncertain. And I suppose I am letting go of this necessity to be at the table with them on this specific day. My oldest is 42, and so I have had a good long run.

Perhaps in the future we will join my brother-in-law’s table, although his wife has a large family. My husband is not inclined to travel hours to my family’s Thanksgiving. My beloved stepson and stepdaughter might be at our table, and possibly other friends – or we at theirs. I’m not ready to join the meal at the senior center, but I can see the blessing of simply arriving and chatting and sitting down to eat with friends. I do embrace change.

Expressing gratitude in community seems a blessed event to me. I am coming to terms with the changing shape of things. However I am not ready to stop. Perhaps I will try to incorporate giving thanks into some other gatherings. Or bring it to the table at home.

And …if my youngest daughter proves true in her intention to bring a couple of new humans into the world, I hope to be traveling to their table at this time of year in the future. Maybe by then I will be able to lure my husband too.