Jerry and Alex – story of a childhood friend

I’m going to tell a story about my childhood friend. I am not using actual names.

One day Bob took his son – 4 year old Jerry (my best friend) – out to the woods to learn about shooting. Two year old Alex came along as well. Bob showed Jerry about the pistol and they picked out a tree to aim for. Jerry took aim and fired. He missed the tree just as Alex stepped out from behind it. The bullet hit Alex. The 2 year old was still breathing. Bob picked him up, ran to the car, and brought Alex to the hospital, leaving his 4 year old son in the woods for hours.

Alex died from the injury and Jerry was found and brought home.

I cannot imagine and it was never discussed – Jerry’s time in the woods. But that was the day life fell apart for Jerry, Bob, and his wife Betty. The divorce was underway within a year. I was a child and was not privy to any of what went on between them. I can guess. I hurt for them all.

Jerry and I lost touch to a large extent when our families both moved to different towns. We stopped visiting as much. Plus he was a boy and I a girl.

I do know that Jerry was an outcast in elementary school. The story traveled and parents told their children. I never understood why Jerry was shunned and shamed in school. I can only think it was the fear of others being associated with something so horrendous. Or having their child befriend such a child. An unlucky child? A “bad” child? It seems like something adults would be responsible for, this shunning.

Or did children ask and talk about it and Jerry reacted in a way that caused them to distance from him? I truly have no idea. So they moved again, to another town – where the same dynamics and patterns were repeated. Jerry went to private school out of state in middle school and high school. And started to have normal relationships.

I could say more about this. Jerry carried a huge burden and he tried to kill himself around the age of 10. This whole story is something I have a lot of sadness about when I think of it – which is not often. Jerry and I lost touch and I deeply regret that. He has a common last name; I have searched every which way for him and he is not to be found. I saw him once at a college that my friend was attending and I did not perceive that I could lose him. But his mom died and our mothers were our link. 

Once Jerry showed up in a journey – as an ally. I have a sense that we are still mutually aligned in some way.

I hope I see him after I die.

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